Delylah

I slipped one day early this week, but not too hard, I guess. But the good news is that I stepped up and got right back on track. I’m trying to figure out what triggered me to drink that day. Stress at work, boredom, thinking I could have just one. I can pick apart each reason I gave to myself to justify my drinking.

Boredom: That’s easy. I could have easily satisfied the boredom by doing something else. A movie, a coffee shop, shopping, anything but drinking.

Stress: Alcohol only made the stress worse. Feeling drunk, out of control, and eventually hungover is NO way to deal with stress. I feel less stress when I’m clearheaded.

Only one? Nope, not in my case. I can’t seem to stop when I start.

Lesson learned. NOT EVEN ONE….

My friend just texted to see if I wanted to grab some wine and come over. I declined. I can’t ignore my drinking buddies forever. But right now, I have to stay away. I wonder if we would still be friends if we didn’t have alcohol in common.

I have a friend who has been in and out of rehab for many years. Her parents and boyfriend have spent the last year keeping a very close eye on her to make sure that she doesn’t fall off the wagon again. Well, she did.

She showed up at a mutual friend’s house—wasted. She had slept with some random stranger the night before and wanted a place to drink some more (she couldn’t drink at home because her boyfriend was there). She got even more trashed. Well, our friend got annoyed and made her leave. She left without her shoes.

See what alcohol can do to you? I hate that drug. I will not be like my friend. She has gotten all the help in the world you could possibly imagine (rehabs, drugs, AA, mentors, therapy, etc), but nothing keeps her from for drinking. They are all temporary fixes. Why? Because she is weak, and the snake is always there tempting her.

Funny, I read WaterMyFriend’s post, and I think that is the biggest reason she keeps falling off the wagon—she’s BORED. Drinking is exciting for her. The high outweighs the negative. She’s had hobbies in the past, but those are all gone now. Alcohol has destroyed her desire.

I am almost one week sober now. I pray to God I continue down this road.