Its September 24. I have 87 days to lose 40 pounds… thats 13 weeks at about 3 to 4 pounds per week. I’m starting weight watchers on wednesday with the rest of my family… hopefully that will make it a little easier to lose the weight since my family is going to be doing it too!
I’ve actually been getting up before my alarm lately… it gives me so much more energy and now I don’t feel tired during the day anymore!!
I’m starting to get into it, I can now tell people no withcout feeling like I’m hurting them in some way… its still hard to say no to my bf though… but I can do it!!!
it was pretty easy… I keep myself very busy now. I used to eat out of bordom, now I run and watch movies or go for walks with my mum… at first it was difficult because I’m diabetic so sometimes I still have to eat when I don’t necissarily feel ‘hungry’ but its still healthy!!!
I used to get to the point where I would just be one big scar throughout my entire right arm because that was where I picked the most… now almost all of my scars are gone, I’m slowing down and stopping, I find other things to do with my hadns whenever I feel that I have to pick. To everybody: Don’t give up, You can do it!!! Just be patient with yourself, and love yourself for who you are!!!
Im finding that I can love… and now that I know that someone loves me, its easier for me to love myself and to feel good… I’m not crossing this one off just yet because I still don’t really know what love is to its full extent… but I will find it, and I will keep it
minus the rain… but still I love my baby very much, he watched the movie so that he could get it right too!!! It was sweet!!
for anyone that wants to do something complete outgoing and loving go to www.freehugscampaign.org and join up!!! there is nothing quite like making a random persons day with a hug
yep being on stage was about as far out of my comfort zone as I get!!! but it was so much fun
My whole life I have been taught that feeligns don’t matter, that if you cry its because you are weak, and now I have no emotions normally but at times I will just be a complete basketcase because everything comes out at once. Last night my boyfriend told me he loved me… I pretty much just smiled at him, I have no knowledge of love or any other feeling… how can you express your feelings without feeling weak?
I was so excited to go shopping for pants today, I’m down another size!!! thats a big accomplishment for me, I can’t exactly measure in pounds as we are not allowed to have scales in my flat, but its all cool!!!
getting so close to not caring how much money it costs… I WANT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE!!! like now
for the pain…
for the nights of tears…
for the years of lies…
for the day it all happened…
for all of the things they did to me, I forgive them
I need to lose weight, many people think that I’m healthy and thin but thats not true, I need to lose 20-30lbs in order to be happy with myself again, this is only before spring break…I want to lose more than that
ok, Current weight is 160ish…
goal weight is 115, I guess thats quite a bit more than 20-30lbs
It been a while since I looked at this… apparently, snce for the last oh six months or so my band has been touring and playing shows all over the west. Being outgoing became part of my life and I’ll never trade that in!!!! Singing in front of 100 to 600 people every night was hard at first but by my last show in December, I was doing it without issue!!!!!
In December I did 7 shows in two weeks, my LAST shows… I was sad, and then i remebered this, and I decided that before my show I would put Sticky Notes all over the Venues that we were playing at for the fans to find!!! it was so cool when people started to show up and find them, some people stared looking for them and asking around to see who wrote them… It was the best going away I could have asked for!!!!!
I went on a date… actually several in the last month and a half, all with the same person… my new BF Kevin. I hadn’t been on a date in a while I had kind of forgotten what it was like to sit at dinner with someone that I cared about and just look into thier eyes and see the same caring, kinda storybook romance for me, but it works!
My friends are very outgoing and very much enjoy embarrasing me in public… its really helped. My guy friends, yeah they love to freak me out by getting other people to come up and say that I’m hot!!! its a huge self esteem booster and it really does help in becoming more outgoing
