Domestika00

I am….making slight improvement with this. It’s slightly harder for me now because I’m in a country where I don’t speak the language. But I’ve met a few people through my language class and I make it a point to ask the few people I do know here to do things once in a while.

I think the key for me is to be involved in more group activities; ie. a sport, martial art, volunteer situation, etc. Once I’m physically around people or forced to interact with them, well…they often try to be-friend me. I still have NO clue how to go about being the be-friender. Still the passive party here!

A year later…this is still something I struggle with. Not to sound R-17, but I always have to have something in my mouth. :/

Even when I eat a big meal I’m still thinking about what I’ll have for a snack later. Grazing is definitely the downfall of any attempt I make at controlling my calories. My only saving grace is that my snacks are healthy 95% of the time. Nuts, dried fish, fruit, whole grains, dairy. Calorie dense…but healthy. Ehhhh, what can you do.

I think, honestly, this is something that’ll change when I’ve address some emotional issues in my life. It’s a symptom, not a cause.

Yeah…a year later and I still haven’t made any progress with this. It’s something I do without thinking about it and I’m not sure that it’ll ever change.

Another weekend of wearing jeans and hoodies!
I think I need to buy some out-there accessories. I think that might get me going in the right direction.

I am trying to get at least some exercise every day. I hate running, so I run/walk a couple of times a week only. The rest of the time I bike ride, go for a leisurely walk or I swim. If I did nothing buy run I’d prolly have given up by now. I need to buy running shoes, though. The ones I have are pitiful and are causing me injuries.
The weather’s getting nicer so this should just get easier and easier.

I’m having a hard time doing this because I don’t like the way my body looks. I put on clothes that I know look good, but I don’t feel like they look good on my. Either my ass looks too huge, or my gut sticks out or my chest looks too small or something. The clothes themselves look good, but I just hate how they look on me, so I put on a pair of jeans and a hoody. AGAIN.
I feel good in jeans and a hoody, but I also feel like I’m cheating…and that I look like a 12 year old. I definitely don’t feel very adult.

I am trying to get 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week. I took 3 days off this week cause we were out of town, which is too bad. And I can’t do much today because I have a pulled muscle. But I’m trying! I’m trying to stick to healthy food, too. I worry about getting on the scale and not seeing the result I want and then losing motivation so I’m going to get a measuring tape instead and keep track of the change in my measurements, not my weight. I think that would be smarter.

Ok, I have not done very well with this. I don’t spend a lot of time trying not to obsess cause…well, I’m too busy obsessing. I need to find a way to stop that thinking in its tracks. I need to come up with some motto or action that stops the process. The hardest thing is to get started. It just gets easier from there.
It’s just a laziness of mind that keeps me thinking in these tracks.

Today I went for a 45 minute walk. It was nice.
I have total shin splints from yesterday’s run, though. I wonder if you’re supposed to rest them or work them when they’re sore like that…prolly rest.

Pffft. I haven’t made any progress on this at all. I’ve been cracking my knuckles for 15 years. It’s going to take some Herculean effort to just…stop.
Bah.

I think on my next days off I will institute a “no hoodies, no jeans” rule for the weekend. I fall back on these things far too much, when I actually have a lot of nice clothes that go totally unused.
I’m debating whether or not to take comfortable clothes or stylish clothes on my trip to England next month. Sure, it would be nice to look nice, but I’m sure I’d appreciate at least being comfortable after spending 10 hours a day sight-seeing.
Who am I kidding, I always appreciate being comfortable.

I went for a run today for the first time in probably three years or more. It was hellish, but I survived.
I found, online, a program of running/walking that starts off slowly but has you running 30 minutes straight in 8 weeks! As long as you keep up with it, that is…
We leave in two weeks for our trip so I’m sort of on the fence about getting this going right now, but it certainly can’t hurt.
Also, a friend mentioned that she has a personal trainer. The idea is interesting. I might look into that when we get back.

Wow. 4000 other people want to make more friends, too. So I’m not the only one. Phewf.
I suck at making friends. I assume people are judging me and so I keep to myself. I don’t get involved in all the friend-making that goes on at work, and then I sit back and feel bad that I’m not part of the gang! Hello! People like people who don’t act like scared, defensive kittens!
If I can’t trust people, I need to at least fake it.
And, miraculously, people still try to engage me in friendship. I need to stop turning down those opportunities.

I need to stop obsessing about other peoples’ opinions of me. I catalogue peoples’ reactions and gauge whether or not they like me based on it. It’s sad and lame and is a waste of energy. I will spend less time worrying about how other people are (or more accurately, aren’t) judging me.

I eat quite healthfully, but it’s the snacking that kills me. I snack when I’m not hungry and it’s just added calories that I don’t need to pack on. I snack when I’m bored or lonely or anxious or sad. Etc, etc. I need to try to eat only when I’m hungry and find things to do other than eat when I’m not.

I’d like to be more healthy in general so I’d like to start being more active each day. I’m currently very sedentary so it’s taking a bit for me to get my ass in gear. I will start off slowly so that I don’t over-do it and then give up. I will bike ride for 15 minutes once a day, and then twice a day when I’m more in the habit.

I have a lot of really nice, fashionable clothes. I like to buy nice clothes and I admire them in my closet. However, I don’t feel completely confident wearing them. I put them on and I look different and I feel different. I don’t feel like myself, somehow. I feel less confident and…less comfortable. But sheesh, you can’t wear jeans, tshirts and hoodies every day of the week.
Particularly when you’re closing in on 30.