Dzirk

This can’t be healthy. I have never had a problem with alcohol, but these things are so effective at tickling my brain the way it wants to be tickled. It’s a fricken lotus flower—yet it’s an absolutely essential tool! What do I do? I can’t destroy it- I need it to get basic things done!

Yesterday I went to church for the first time in several months. Was I inspired? Sadly, it wasn’t particularly inspiring. I think my attention span has shortened, and church definitely lengthened- an hour and a half.
The boss of my whole religion was there: Kathryn Jefforts Schori- at the heart of the Episcopal maelstrom- gave the sermon today, and did all the rites and such. Yet I was bored. Praying was worthwhile, but I can do that anytime.
If I’m not mistaken (and, let’s be honest- I’m completely speculating here, so I probably am mistaken) the word “inspiration” is probably from a biblical passage in which Jesus, returned from the dead, brethes on his disciples and says something like: “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of another, they are forgiven. If you retain another’s sins, they are retained.”
Being inspired might be all I really need. Certainly if my definition is correct, the it definitely IS all I need. After all, I’m making lists of 43 things to do because the things that are just popping up in the process of life aren’t fufilling, or inspiring enough, on their own. But it looks like it’s going to take more than the words of Kathryn Jefforts Schori to make it happen.

My life was indubitably improved by this. I have now kept it up for about two weeks, with a few intermittent days of lapse.
Sadly, however, my life still sucks. But considering that making lists has helped me, on a daily basis, to formulate in my mind ways for my life to suck less, at least I have a clear, shining path before me that will-hopefully- lead to a life that doesn’t suck. It bears mentioning at this time that the days in which I failed to make a list were most unhappy and dissatisfactory days. And, not surprisingly, nothing got done on those days.
I think I shall post this as a goal for THIS week- every day. Today is already taken care of- though my list is on the feeble side, it does include the major stuff that will get me through my day.
In addition, for many days I set a “daily goal”- the one big thing on my list that I must succeed in or fail to get done.
So, though I have successfully completed this, it is a task that is not yet complete, because I must build on it. I shall set a new goal for this particular week, which will include the to-do list, in all its magnificent glory, but with an added “goal” that I must complete also, in order for the day to have a little more oomph to it.