El_Loco_Moco

i want to forgive but i cant, when i was in my teens i had the worst life ever. my mom and dad were from mexico i was the only one in the family that was born here in the USA. my dad left us for another woman. that happend when i was 6 he just walked out in my family its me with 3 brothers and one sister im the baby of the family, well my mom worked until she couldnt work any more she worked late nights cleaning offices in the downtown houston. so she really didnt make that much money and then she started to get sick, well since it was just my mom working and it was me and my brother living with her, his ass couldnt even get off his ass to get a job, i was 12 when i started to sell drugs just to help my mom out leaveing money in her purse paying off things as best as i can. when my mom stopped working we lived in public housing and it was in the worst part of houston 5th ward damn!!!!!!!!!! well i didnt want to go to school there so for 3 yrs i went to school across town to the Southwest part of houston where my sister and her husband lived i used their address so i could attend there. i would wake up every morning at 4 am and be out the house at 4:45 just to catch one of the 3 buses just to get to school in time, so one day my sister and husband told me, why not live with them it would make it easy for me. so i said sure, well this is where it all started at that time i was in 9th grade my mom couldnt work any more she was barely getting any money from the governmen for ssi then i started to sell drugs again to buy my school cloths and supplies well me thinking that my sister and husband would get those things for me shit yeah right my mom gave my sister a mervins credit card. to buy me cloths well guess what they did since my sisters husband had kids from his other marriage they would go to corpus christi alot. well his kids would get childsupport i mean really good money for childsupport not only that their step dad would get disability so that ment they would get a check too, well that weekend my sister and husband maxed that credit card out to buy his kids cloths and i didnt get jack shit!!! man was i pissed!!!! but luckly i was selling drugs so i had my cloths. well when i was 8 my brother was getting child support checks and he didnt share the money with me so he would keep it all. until he was 18 well when i was in the 9th grade i started to recieve the check to every week i would get 35 bucks and my sister would take that check and would give it to her sorry ass husband just for them to go out or for his ass to drink beer!!!!!!! that sucked big time since my mom was sick i didnt tell her i didnt want to worry her. well things just got worse from there my mom passed away when i was 21 and i was going to a trade school and i did graduate!!!!! when i graduated i started to live with my sister and her husband and the only reason i did that is because every one else had a family and my sister couldnt have kids so they had a 3brd house i would pay them rent 75 a week and i was working in under ground construction and didnt have anything to show for it just working and comeing to their house to sleep i didnt eat there i ddint even use the washer and dryer EVEN though those washer and dryer belonged to my MOM cuz they used her name to get them!!!! hell i didnt even ask them for a ride when it came to goign to work!! i would walk 1mile and half to the closes bus stop to the construction site then would get back to their house at 7 or 9 pm if im lucky!!! then when i would get paid my sisters husband would hit me up for moeny saying if i dont pay the light or the water im going to get kicked out!! so i would pay it. well one lucky day i got offered a better job at a car dealer ship making more money well when my sisters husband found out he wanted more money for the rent!!!!! then my family was treating me like i was the black sheep of the family they wouldnt even lift a finger to help me!!! hell not even a ride to the HEB which was a good walking distance the more they treated me like a dog the more i wanted to die!! one day i recieved a big check from my job i didnt tell any one, how much i made so i paid my sister and her husband the 300 upfront and i went out i never been to a club until that night and not to disrespect their house i came back early at 11 the door was locked so i ringed the door bell they ahd a dog so i could hear the little thing bark i heard my ssiter walk up to the door!!! and i thought she was gonna open the door!!!!!!! then her husband walks up to the door and just calls the dog back and they never NEVER opened the door!!! i didnt have a car they lived far out in houston but luckly i left my window unlocked so i climbed in and woke up and got ready for work the next day like nothing. man my other bothers they wouldnt help me if i was dying never asked me if i needed anything for school or even asked for a ride i remember those nights when i was dog tired smelling like sweat on the bus from work and not one of them offered me a ride!!! when my mom died i wanted to crawl in that box with her i have soo much hate for them that i made up a whole different life one day someone said hey arent you the brother of so and so and i said no i’m a only child!!!! i dont want to do anything with them i got to the point where if they die i wouldnt feel a thing for them!!!! thats how much hate i have for them!!!! hell when my mom would go to work my other brother that didnt work and didnt do shit to help my mom out would come into the room and would hit me like i was a punching bag!! i would tell them but they would think i was lying and i would even show them the marks on my body and they would say i was lying and making it up well thnx to them i lost the job that i had at the car dealer ship and my sisters husband got me a job with his cousins mechanic shop well it was a 3 day weekend!!! and i decided to go out of town and quit and leave houston for good. well when i asked about my check guess what he gave it to his cousin my sisters husband well i kissed that check good bye. well thats not the only thing my mom lived NEXT DOOR to my sister and my mom got her ssi check and my mom asked if they could take her to go cash it so she could buy food well guess what my sisters husband told my mom he would depoist it to their bank account. well my mom never saw that money again here is the bitch part my sister never did anything about it!!!!! how you gonna let some asshole fuck over your mom!!!!!!!!!!!! well that night he went out to some club spending my moms money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my brothers and sister didnt do anything about it. now i look back and i havent talk to them in 7 yrs and thank god they don tknow where i am or where i live i could care less, if it wasnt for my friend Brodrick i would have been dead now im married and have 3 boys and one girl im the happiest man in the world!!!!!!!!!!! well thats it for now i know the good book says to forgive but damn!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont think i can i just go about my business, acting like i dont even know those people. and now im 28 we own our own house!!! and i have my own business life is good.