Evelyn21

55. When I get to the bus stop just as the bus is coming around the corner. Instead of running down the street after it, screaming…

56. TV Boxsets – Lazy weekends when I can just sit on the settee and watch episode after episode – I get really involved in it.

57. Finding shops that sell really unique or handmade items.

58. Patriotism – or just when a crowd comes together to show a support. At gigs when the crowd sing louder than the performer. At sports events when everyone is cheering together… :]

59. Ska/punk cover versions of old songs… <3

60. Flipping through a magazine and finding an article that I can totally relate to.

61. Realising that this life is mine to live how I want to.

You need to listen to the strong to understand how powerful the lyrics are. Especially at the end when she sings about not being lost. <3

I’m strong
But I break
I’m stubborn
And I make plenty of mistakes
Yeah I’m hard
And life with me is never easy
To figure out, to love
I’m jaded but oh so lovely
All you have to do is hold me
And you’ll know and you’ll see just how sweet it can be
If you’ll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe

Someday
When we’re at the same place
When we’re on the same road
When it’s okay to hold my hand
Without feeling lost
Without all the excuses
When it’s just because you love me, you let me, you need me
Then maybe, maybe
All you have to do is hold me
And you’ll know and you’ll see just how sweet it can be
If you’ll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe

I’m confusing as hell
I’m north and south
And I’ll probably never have it all figured out
But what I know is I wasn’t meant to walk this world without you
And I promise I’ll try
Yeah I’m gonna try to give you every little part of me
Every single detail you missed with your eyes
Then maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

One day
We’ll meet again and you’ll need me, you’ll see me completely
Every little bit
Oh yeah maybe you’ll love me, you’ll love me then

I don’t want to be tough
And I don’t want to be proud
I don’t need to be fixed and I certainly don’t need to be found
I’m not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
I just want to be loved by you and I won’t stop ‘cause I believe
That maybe, yeah maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

47) Driving – I haven’t passed my test yet but I already love it. I love thinking about the future and when I do pass – how much freedom I’ll have and how much easier it will be to do things and see people. And just silly things like driving around with my music really loud… Hehe. :]

48) Jigsaw puzzles – I just love them. Sitting down in front of a film and just concentrating on it. Also reminds me of when my grandfather died and the whole family just sat around a big table trying to complete this puzzle while crying our eyes out.

49) Baking – my new hobby. I just love making cakes and brownies… mmmm. :) Plus the smell in the kitchen afterwards is wonderful! Hopefully I’ll work myself up to cooking main meals! Haha, but for now, Im totally happy with the desserts! XD

50) Board games – I love getting friends round and playing board games. Enjoying each others company without tv, dvds, game consoles etc.

51) Getting really involved in a TV series – I don’t watch much TV but sometimes I find something special and sit down under a blanket and really get mesmorised by it. And then I’ll get really excited about the next episode!

52) Scary movies in the company of friends – Okay, I admit, I can’t watch these in the house on my own but I turn into a completely different person around friends. I love all sitting together under blankets, and pulling them up to our eyes and screaming all the way through them. Especially if its quite stormy outside.

Guess that one leads to my next one…

53) Halloween – My favourite day of the year. I just love all the spooky decorations, the pumpkins, all the sweets and costumes. Im feeling all excited just thinking about it…

54) Confidence – When my hair stays nice all day and doesn’t get all curly or frizzy (which usually happens) and my skin and make up are perfect. I turn into a completely new, confident me and I find myself talking to everyone and just genuinly being a friendlier person. However, if I look in the mirror during the day and my hair or face is a mess, my confidence dies and I avoid people all day. :/

Okay, I did this. For the first time in my life I feel like I have actually stood up for myself and confronted someone about something Id usually ignore…

I actually asked for my money back off the person who owes me an awful lot.

Im shaking. I feel like such a bitch. Even though its rightfully my money and I need it. And now shes avoiding me and Im so scared she’s bitching about me to everyone or she’s going to set fire to my house. :/

Hmmm…

20) “If you live to be a 100 years old, I want to live to be a 100 minus one day, so that I don’t ever have to live a day without you.” ~ Winnie The Pooh

21) “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small people who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” – Richard Bullock

22) “It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realise just how much you love them.” – Agatha Christie

23) “When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.” – Edgar Watson Howe

24) “I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.” – Hermann Hesse

25) “holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – buddha

26) “A ship in the harbor is safe. But that’s not what ships are built for.” – Anonymous

27) “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.” – Gilda Radner

28) “When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” – Hugh White

29) “Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.” – Al Franken

30) “Nothing lasts forever,
so live it up, drink it down,
laugh it off, avoid the lies,
take chances & never have regrets,
because at one point everything you did
was exactly what you wanted” – Anon

42) Having energy – Getting home from work and not feeling as though I just want to sleep. Having the motivation to do things, to go out etc… Although this is hardly ever the case for me, Im always so sleepy, but its amazing when I feel full of life. :)

43) Visiting new places, new towns, seeing new buildings. Getting excited walking down new streets and seeing completely different things than what you’re used to, a difference in routine. Sometimes it gets boring seeing the same things everyday – the same shops, cafes, pubs etc.

44) Video games that include everyone make me happy. Dont get me wrong, I also love single player games but one of my favourite things is to invite friends over, get slightly tipsy and have competitions on the wii. Or play singstar on the PS2 – just everyone getting involved and having fun. Really funny. :)

45) My new favourite thing is to actually go to a sandwich bar or coffee shop and instead of getting a takeaway and marching out the door in a rush, ill take time to sit down and read a book. “Me Time” – So relaxing. Its like im pausing my life for half an hour. x

46) 43things – Gosh, I love this site. =)
I get more inspired with each new goal, it really motivates me. I’m now actually thinking of things I need to do and things I’d like to achieve which I wouldn’t usually – makes it easier to work towards completing them. I also love writing entries and how proud I feel once they are completed. Love it, love it. :)

14) “Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine.” – Mary Schmich

I like to remember that quote when I look in the mirror. Appreciate the way you look before its too late. Think about when you’re 50, looking back at photos of your younger self and wishing you still looked like that. :)

15) “As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down…
probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once
and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You’ll fight with your best friend.
You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You’ll cry because time is passing too fast
and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much,
and love like you have never been hurt
because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.”
—Author:Unknown

16) “Think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do you will live in with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.” – Anna Quindlen

17) “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen

18) “It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.” – J. K. Rowling

19) “You don’t die of a broken heart, you only wish you did.”
- Marilyn Peterson

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life” – W Churchill

I love this quote – I really want to just print it out and stick it on my fridge.

Big thanks to Leah Lionheart who let me steal it from her 43t goal. Hehe. =] x

I think I’ve learnt so much about myself in the last few months. That Im not the person I thought I was. And I dont desire the life I thought I wanted…

I didnt go to university and Ive always thought that I missed out on that whole party lifestyle. I thought I wanted to live with loads of people, have mad parties, drink alcohol 24/7, live in a messy house share, have friends over every night and not have to worry.

So I did it.
And now, a few months later, Im screaming inside…
Because thats not me. Thats who I thought I was.

Im only just realising who I really am and what I really want.
And Im finally embracing that and becoming the person that I am and have always been, I guess I’ve just been pushing her away. But I want to be that person now. :)

Just got a new flat and its not messy, its lovely – I’ve finally realised what a clean, organised person I am. Hehe.
I dont invite everyone over for mad parties, I have my real friends over and we cook and watch tv and films. I have a lot more time for me now, for my hobbies – I write alot, I draw, I’m learning to cook…

And Im finally becoming the person Ive always wanted to be.
Im finally becoming me! :) x

12) I have respect for myself and my body. I didn’t realise how many of my friends sleep around, go to clubs just to take someone home. And to be honest, Im really proud that Im not like that. Although, I just want to add that I don’t judge them for it and would never criticise anybody, at the end of the day its their decision. However, Im proud to say that I dont sleep around. :)

I want a new start.
Therefore, new photos…

I dont want to be reminded of past events, bad friends etc. I want new memories and new photos to put around my house – new fun times. :)

Therefore I have decided not to scan all my old photos, but put them in a box and leave them there.

I shall then take brand new photos of people and places that make me happy. Heres to a new start… :] x

Got the new flat.
Got the cookbook.

I’m well on my way…
Hehehehe. :P

x

I now have 13 consoles under my television. Think I have most of them really apart from an X-Box or X-Box 360. Far too many buttons on the controller for me thank you. :/ Hehehe.

I did buy my boyfriend one of each though so collectively we have them included. :)

I find that biting my nails releases stress.
I didnt realise how therapeutic it was until I stopped.

Im too stressed right now to stop.
It helps control the situation…

But I will open up this goal again when things get a little bit calmer. x

I guess I’m just not very good at realising who my real friends are…

I’ve been hanging around with the same bunch of people for years now. They bring me down, they make me unhappy, they remind me of times in my past Im trying to let go of and they create pointless drama. Yet I still hang around with them – I guess I just dont know any difference.

I think Im scared of being alone. Being without friends. So I still cling to the terrible ones thinking this will make me happy but they bring me down…

I also feel like I cant change this because they go to my favourite places and I cant get away from them… I feel like I just want to ignore them when I see them, forget about them, but I cant. I end up giving them hugs and chatting, when inside Im screaming!

However, lately I haven’t seen them as I havent gone out to our usual favourite places. They haven’t called me to see where I am. I doubt they even notice Im not there…

And I actually feel happier.
Like a bad part of me has left, the shadow has disappeared…

Im moving on.
I need to continue with this and value the friends who have been there all along. Get back in touch with the good ones I’ve lost along the way. Maybe get the confidence to make new friends??

Hope this is the start of something really positive. x

Called him yesterday and he seemed so happy I got in touch. He kept saying how much he missed me and that he just has to see me… :]

So we’ve decided to meet up this saturday.

It makes me realise that most of the things I put off only take about 5 minutes to complete but make a world of difference. Yet, why do I continue to make excuses??

So excited right now – cant wait to see him. :) :) xxx

Will contact my other best friend soon…

1) Chemical Brothers – Galvanize
2) N.E.R.D – Lapdance
3) Less Than Jake – Gainesville Rock City
4) Sublime – Date Rape
5) Reel Big Fish – Sell Out
6) Alkaline Trio – Cooking Wine
7) Alkaline Trio – Warbrain
8) 30 Seconds to Mars – The Kill
9) Goldfinger – 99 Red Balloons

36) Bubble baths – When I really make an effort, light candles, use lovely bath oil etc… and buy a new magazine to read. giggles =]

37) Pens that make my handwriting look nice – some pens just feel good when you write with them. It flows… I sound geeky now. :P x

38) When I put clean sheets, pillow cases etc on my bed and I get in at the end of the day. I can feel the cold freshness and its lovely – so nice to sleep in. :)

39) Incense, scented candles, oil burners – anything that makes my house smell divine.

40) When a friend says “I miss you” or “I love you”... or basically just tells you how much you mean to them. Probably one of the nicest feelings in the world. ^_

41) Watching Will and Grace – Makes me cry laughing. I have the boxsets on all the time even if Im busy cleaning or ironing, I like it on in the background. :)

“Friendship isn’t about who you knew the longest, it’s about who never left your side.”

Really hit me emotionally…
I really dont appreciate my true friends – I just waste my time with the idiots who bring me down. =(

I haven’t spoken to my cousins for so many years apart from rushed conversations at birthday parties but I know that we’d really get on if we made the effort to hang out, maybe go for a drink.

So, I decided to write my mobile number inside my cousins birthday card and invite her and her brother for a drink sometime. Really hope she texts me. =]

Secondly,
I have two REALLY good friends that I dont see very much, but they’ve supported me through so much. Have decided that I shall contact both of them right now and arrange something…

They both mean so much to me. <3
It sickens me to think that I just cant be bothered to keep in touch. :/ x