Fapifirl

Not exactly a poem, but wrote it during difficult time-

The reason for the kite to fly happily in the sky, is not because it’s free.
It’s because there’s a string that will eventually tug it close.
Even if it could fly freely, no matter how high it flies…even if it could reach outer space, it wouldn’t be happy.
Beyond the string is a place to go home to.
Even if it gets tattered and torn or becomes useless, there is a gentle hand that will hold it close.
That’s why I can fly.For that, I would live the rest of my life as a useless creature.

only you can make this right
you’re my last beam of light
dont be scared-i dont bite
let’s just hold hands tonight
snow is glistening oh so white
for one lets not pick a fight
that stars are burning for us so bright
but you beside me make a better site
this is more than love at first sight
im not saying this to be polite
lets just not forget about tonight
for tomorrow i’ll hop alone on that flight

Its been what? a year now? Such a horrible year- i’ve been so depressed. With my grandma’s first death anniversary coming up soon i started wondering what i was doing this time last year and somehow came to want to loose weight again.

I totally derailed and im now at 146- though not for long! Got to find more motivation, even if its fake. I need something to strive for (hopefully health, since seeing what i used to eat i find myself disgusted) Still, i sometimes hit all time lows and im so tempted to just throw up, but i’ve only gotten so far as to going to the bathroom and trying to stick my finger down but i can never finish- sucks having a conscience (besides, my teeth are pretty, i dont want to ruin one of the only things i like about myself)

I have to find a solution- any solution- to take my mind off the most important matter : i miss her.