Faraday1791

So far, I’m four books into this.

What I Know Now
There’s A Reason For Rules
Mean Genes
Survival of the Sickest

and I’m working on the Year of Living Biblically.

I’d like to finish all of this in a year, but the year is already 25% done – I should be through 25 books at this point. And I’m most certainly not. It’s time to catch up.

1: No Drugs – DONE
I don’t need the sleeping pills to get to bed anymore. So, it’s official. This one is DONE.

2: Sleep More – DONE
I’m sleeping 10:00 PM – 6:00 AM perfectly.

3: Eat Healthier – DONE
I’m cooking 90% of my meals, and eating fruits and vegetables regularly. No more candy, no more sweets, no more fast food.

4: Exercise More – DONE
I’ve started exercising daily for 30 minutes, and I’ve stuck with the routine.

5: Understand the Science Behind the Fads – In Progress
I will admit to making no progress in this whatsoever. Yet I’m skeptical as to the necessity of this. I took Advanced Biomed courses. I don’t buy into fads. I understand nutrition better than most MDs… I actually know what, for instance, High Fructose Corn Syrup is, and why it’s bad. And as a skeptic, when I find a fad that I’m considering, I pour hours of research into it. On the other hand, I’ll feel like I’m cheating myself if I don’t find some ways to improve my knowledge.

6: Have A Routine – DONE
Get up. Brush teeth. Eat Oatmeal, Cereal, or Bacon and Eggs. Brush teeth. Shower. Clean. Organize. Work. Eat lunch. ...yeah, I’ve got the routine down.

7: Drink 24oz of Water Per Day – DONE

8: Understand Myself, 9: Like Myself, 10: Trust Myself – In Progress
There is progress. Kind of. I’m not sure all the time if I’m moving forward or backward – liking myself more or less. I accept that I have flaws, and that I can’t fix everything. I accept what I cannot change. I just can’t ever seem to focus on what’s good about me. I keep replaying all my mistakes; all my downfalls; all my defeats because I’m so frightened to repeat them. Maybe this is why it feels like every month I have a major change in the way I view the world – because I see the flaws in my philosophy and adapt it. But every change brings both good and bad results.

In short, I’m still not sure how to go about this. But the alterations I’m making to my daily life are altering my views; I’m still hoping that in taking better care of myself physically, I will find a state of mental peace and prosperity.

This is turning out to be a little harder than I thought.

I started with quitting the drugs. And no, I don’t mean heroine. I mean the simple things… Caffeine. Alcohol. Taurine (Yes, I do understand that this is actually an amino acid, however, it alters my psychological state, so I include it in the ‘drug’ category.).

Even in this step I feel as though I’m cheating. Because I haven’t totally obliterated the caffeine. I still drink tea. I rationalize this by saying that the amount of caffeine is not enough to considerably alter my mental state. I still feel as though I’m cheating.

I have, however, met with success on the ‘sleep more’ front. Eight hours, every night. Carefully scheduled and timed. No more, no less. Here again, I may be cheating a little on the ‘no drugs’ front, because that’s how I’m establishing this schedule. 9:30 sharp, I take an over-the-counter sleeping pill (which kicks in a 10:00, when I’m in bed), because I’m not used to going to bed at this time, and I’m trying to establish a routine. I rationalize this by the two-week rule. This will only be in effect for two weeks. After that, the routine will be established, and I won’t need them. However, I’m pretty sure that’s how people develop dependencies in the first place. Yet how else can I approach this? And how effective are the drugs, really? I keep having blurred memories of waking up at one in the morning. I think I need to research this aspect a little more.

Eating better has, however, most definitely met with success. I’m cooking more, rather than microwaving my meals. I’m eating oatmeal instead of ice cream; bacon instead of macaroni and cheese. I feel much better. More energized.

Exercising is the one that I’m focusing most of my energy on this week. I’ve started Pilates Yoga. I warm up for six minutes, work out for ten minutes, and wind down for six minutes. I do this twice daily. I also do a routine focused on my abdominals and thighs, with the same basic structure (warm up six minutes, exercise ten minutes, wind down six minutes) once daily. I’m two days into this, so we’ll see how well I stick with this one, but I like it; I feel healthier. More proactive. I’m not seeing results, of course, and don’t expect to for another twelve days or so (based on previous rounds of having set exercise routines, it takes about two weeks for results).

As for understanding the science behind the fads… no progress, so far.

On the ‘have a routine’ front, I’m improving. I go to sleep at a set time, wake up at a set time, eat, exercise, bathe, wash my hair, and brush my teeth all at set times. I think that I’ll feel like I have more of a routine after a couple of weeks of school being in-session. Maybe then, I’ll check this off.

As for the psychological front, I’m not sure I’m seeing any improvement, because I’m not sure how to improve this. I’ve noticed that I feel prettier, yet this might have to do with taking better care of myself physically and not biting my lips. Maybe I’m on the path to accepting myself.

Yet there are still parts of myself I’m extremely unhappy with. My social awkwardness is my main source of friction in my quest for self-esteem. I think, however, if I start paying more attention to others, this will improve.

...Time to add another goal to my list.