Fortyfourclbrlve

I always eat everything on my plate but today i was really good. For breakfast i had a bowl of oatmeal and a nutrigrain bar. I’m a fairly small person and i really dont need how much i have been eating lately. I ate my nutrigrain bar first and ate part of the instant oatmeal stuff. Usually after a meal i almost always have a stomach(sp?) ache because i’ve eaten too much. Not today though! :)

i really want to be more in tune with my body and have the “eat to live” attitude rather than the “live to eat” one lol

I’m new to this whole thing but i thought that maybe this would help me figure some stuff out. Last summer i lost about 15 pounds i was kind of obsessive and then i got worn out and started binging. I thought being thin or eating whatever i wanted would relive my anxiety and make me a more worthy person for being loved. It seems like everyone here has this story- maybe not EXACTLY this story. I dont understand how i can keep doing this to myself when it makes me so unhappy. I haven’t been binging for too long. I used to puke up what i ate. But thats so bad for your body and i always have hated that. Maybe the reason i dont purge is because i cant make myself. Because i’m not disiplined enough or something. I want this all to stop so bad. I’m 17 and i know that i’m not overweight but i still feel like i am. I told my mom about all this she took me to the docter and now i’m finally getting a therapist. I want to get over this. Maybe i want to get over this because of my perfectionism and that is the main source of my binging. so maybe thats why its such a chronic cycle for me. I want to stop. If anyone has some tips for for what they do to deal with things other than eating or just some support in general it would be really appreciated.