I'm doing 27 things
So, I’ve smoked fooor…13 years? That sounds about right. 13 years. I’ve quit on and off for the last two years. To my credit, more off than on. That being said, for some ridiculous reason, I always seem to find moments in which I deem smoking acceptable. Like when I’m having a drinks. Or when I happen to be hanging out with one of my cigarette happy friends. Ooor when I’m crabby or have a fight with my husband…
I know that they’re all stupid reasons. I know that there is never, EVER, a good or acceptable reason to smoke. It’s killing me! HELLO?! Shouldn’t THAT be reason enough to NEVER even THINK about picking up another cigarette ever again?! Stupid, stupid girl…it’s just that once that cigarette hits my lips and I inhale I’m hooked again. I can’t smoke just one, I have to smoke a whole pack. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, it could be months weeks since my last slip…I’m smokin!
I don’t like it anymore. I think it tastes horrible. It STINKS! I feel gross when I smoke. I feel guilty! I stand there and puff away feeling this enormous sense of disappointment wash over me…and I light up another cigarette. I’m a nicotine junkie.
My ridiculous little cycle of silly little weaknesses HAS to STOP!
...right after I finish this cigarette.
