Gabrielsmama

I have to get rid of more than half of the things in this place before we move. I have alot of stuff I want to sell. I dont think a yard sale is a good idea, and I dont want to shell out the money to go to a flea market. I know I should post to craigslist but I just got stood up by someone who was buying something from me the other day, so Im still mad about it. I want to sell everything quickly, as much at one shot as possible. Any ideas?

Today after like two hours of sleep, Matt and I drove 2 hrs away to look at two mobile homes(all we can afford right now). The first one was a dump, the second guy stood us up. Then we went to eat at a diner thinking we could eat for less than 30 dollars, since that was all the money we had left. My food cost ten dollars. It was called greek spinach pie and came out smelling like seaweed so bad I took one bite and I was done. In the end, all I ate was the cheese off my french onion soup and my chocolate milk(with whipped cream :D ). In the end, we didnt have enough to pay for this food, how I dont know. The lady started hasseling Matt and we were so embarassed. I came up with enough to just pay the bill and left my LAST dollar bill for the dude as a tip. It was the best I could do. Then, mad, tired, and frustrated, I started the two hour trip back home. Both my boys passed out.

When we got home I made Matt call this number for one more ad. It was a mobile home in a town I like, close by in the same county. It was a little more but the guy didnt mind MAtt calling on a sunday and even said we could come look at it tonight. We like the place. It needs some work but it has a nice big lot, the guy will work with us so we can buy the place, and Im very excited. So is Matt. So today sucked for the most part but I did get to laugh with Matt alot and we may have found our next home.

Im nervous to have to leave my baby and go out to get a job so we can afford this place… I havent worked in two years and my agoraphobia is at an all time high level. But I saw a quote today on the side of the road and it hit home for me. I think it was for the bible, Pslams to be exact( I THINK thats what the sign said) “Seek peace and persue it”.

Matt got paid today so the first thing we did was go out and buy a bunch of stuff… Now 99% of it was things we needed or that we were going to use, but now we are almost broke again, no bills are paid, and by the end of the weekend there will be no money left and 2 whole weeks to go before he gets paid again. We need so much but have so little comming in. I really need to find an income. Im going to wait till we move then make that a very high priority. I really hate feeling that need to buy things. I know having stuff does not define who you are, hell, I havent even gotten anything for myself in a long time( other than like toothpaste) but I still feel like there is so much that we need. Sometimes it feels so desperate.

I was thinking, after Gabriel my 3 month old grows out of the baby stuff I have for him, like the bassinet, bouncy seats, clothes, stuff like that, I WAS going to sell it but then today I thought how I KNOW there is a girl or young couple out there that has as little or less than MAtt and I and I thought maybe I would find that new mother and give her alot of the stuff I can spare. I want to have another child but most of the stuff I can replace later and it will be more fun that way anyway. Why pack it away in an attic to collect dust of get to smelling funky when someone could use it and love it the way I do. Maybe then I can tell this new mama when her little one has outgrown it, to please clean it and try to find another mama to use the things. Maybe its wishful thinking but then again maybe she will have the same feelings I have right now of wanting to help someone else out at this new point in their lives.