GabyEA

Sometimes I have so much work to do that I say, like the Pixies; “where is my mind???”.... and where is the rest of my life?

I like work challenges, and I am a very good and hard worker. But it’s time to set some limits and get time balance. I’ve been managing 2 demanding positions in my company since July. I’ve learned a lot, but I usually work 60+ hours a week. And when I’m not working, I am thinking about the things I have to do.

My work is also my refuge. And my personal life hasn’t been the happiest, so I use my work to avoid it. But it is not the solution, right?

These last months, however, I’ve been realizing that life passes me by. My friends go to the movies, fall in love, meet new friends or lovers, read books, travel, whatever. They have a life! What about me?

Last week I had something like an emotional breakdow. Had an horrible morning and at the afternoon I couldn’t stop crying. And feeling lonely, tired and miserable. As if I was fallen on the ground and nobody to help me. But this episode set a limit in some way, and this week I started feeling less anxious. Some days this week I felt like “Am I being irresponsible?”, or… Am I being just human? It´s been liberating :)

So now I set this goal. I want to learn how to say no, to get more credit for my work, and more credit from myself in the first place – Indulge myself and recognise my personal needs, instead of punishing myself. Wish me luck guys!

I don’t feel crabby or lonely as I was feeling that Valentine Day when I created this goal 2 yrs ago. But I still want the same kind of person I wrote about then.

In fact, I haven’t been too available the last year or so, so I could start spending less time at the office and meeting more new people. I think my perfect match will appear when the time is right.

And now I remember something a friend told me a few months ago… “Now I don’t expect the perfect princess, the one who is right in all the ‘profile requeriments’ I expect. This is not real. I expect a road partner, someone to walk side by side in my life”. (Una compañera de camino, en español). Lo añado a mi lista entonces.

Morurco is a small mountain behind Cotopaxi, one of our active vulcanos here in Ecuador. So we went camping there, watched all the star constellations we could and the morning after we climbed the mountain.

So… I finally saw and touched and walked on the snow. Although Morurco is not a very high or hard mountain to climb, it was a great experience. I dedicated this goal to my dad, who passed away a few months before.