GennR

I had my vocal review, for Kindermusik training, tonight. I sang fine all day. Then right before the review, I started jumbling up a certain part of one song. While on the phone with the woman for the review, I went to sing but my throat tightened and I couldn’t sing any high notes!!!!!!!!! OMG! It was soooooooooooooooooo SCARY! I hated it. I also started dropping lots of notes. The only reason I passed is because the woman said she could tell I’m capable by the way I stayed in whatever key I started in, consistently. I’m so crazed right now. I never want to sing again, lol. It was funny in a way though.

I sang horribly! I’ve never sung alone in front of anyone. I was PETRIFIED. I sang the songs too low and forgot some of the notes. But she passed me anyway, based on the fact that I stayed consistently on whatever key I started in. Apparently that means I’m capable of singing. I never want to sing alone again!!!!!!

So I paid for the background check and also called up Kindermusik and spoke with them. They didn’t flip out, just said we’ll have to see what comes up on it and if I can be granted a review, I’ll be allowed to present character references. In the meantime, I have to just continue the class and if I can’t be licensed, I’ll be given a refund. I hate my past. It’s also not fair! Anyway…I looked up the background check company and it seems they’re pretty useless and can’t even access my information because of the state I live in. I was wondering why it would only cost $9.95! So I pray that I didn’t call them up and tell them I have drug felonies, for NOTHING! I have a vocal review tomorrow, by phone, and I spent the first day learning the wrong songs, the second in an uproar over the background check, and last night discovering that there was sheet music and I had to decipher the songs from that! I can’t spot-read sheet music!!!!!!!!!! Luckily my boyfriend is a musician and recorded the songs for me to listen to and train with. Lot’s of things are coming up but I’m just doing this. I WILL KEEP GOING! I WILL BE A SUCCESS NO MATTER WHAT! Oh, did I mention I’m terrified of singing in front of people? Or that everyone in the class has a fancy degree and I’ve never even held a job for long or finished school? This is crazy. But I want it.