Gertie

still no big walks, just running errands, and yet it all adds up

90 miles done, 910 to go

Is it weird that the only way I can tell time anymore is by the number of underpants in the laundry…?

I received a letter from the government explaining that the garnishment of my unemployment benefits is scheduled to continue up through April. They’ve been taking money out every week since November to recoup the council tax that was unpaid from my old flat up the street (for which they hadn’t notified me in FIVE years, despite having my address, those incompetent fuckers).

I’ve already paid in more than the amount owed, but when I spoke to the Council they hadn’t received all the money yet. Turns out the job centre only pays the council every month, so they won’t be paying again until mid-February. AFTER they pay that money to the council, the council with notify job centre to stop garnishing my wages. And THEN I start the process of trying to get back the money I’ve now overpaid. They estimate it will take 2-3 months for this to happen. Is it any wonder people go postal?

I got one of my Visa bills, and the minimum due is now $743. The other one’s minimum due is $368. Strangely, this is no longer causing me angst. I know that someday (hopefully soon) I will be paying them back, but I can’t do anymore than I’ve already done. I do wish I had been this relaxed about it a year ago, and I wouldn’t have wasted all that money trying to save my credit but at least I know I’ve tried my best and that’s okay.

Last week I did a lot of research for my photography class, but kept putting off reading any of it until the last minute. I’m not sure where this procrastination trait came from, but it has developed quite strongly over the past couple of years. I guess you could say it’s always been there, as I seemed to avoid doing those things that I really need to do to better myself, but I was always so busy doing anything and everything for everyone else that I never noticed how much I was avoiding. Sigh.

This year is my year of CHANGE, however, so I’ve been taking great pains (oy, the pain) to change the way in which I approach stuff. For one thing, I did finally make myself read all of the articles I’d printed out. Sure, it was the night before and the morning of my class, but I did read them. And I’m so, SO glad I did.

During class we were put into groups and told to try and recreate the lighting à la David Bailey. It was a lot of fun, and our group was one that came the closest (miles away, but still the closest – yay) and then as our instructor was discussing meter readings and shutter speeds it was like the friggin’ penny dropped and I finally got it.

At one point I’d felt like an idiot because the “pro” girl in our group had to change a setting on my camera for me, but when the teach was asking what would happen if we changed the shutter speed from 1/25 to 2 seconds, I KNEW what would happen and she didn’t and I was tickled pink to actually understand what the fuck we were talking about. I’m super psyched about the whole class now and can’t wait to get back there on Saturday and learn some more.

After class I was still pumped up and thought I might walk home but it looked like it might rain at any minute so I contented myself with taking some photos as I worked my way down Buchanan Street. There is always so much happening in city centre, the least of which is the wide variety of live entertainment acts. There was one guy doing a puppet show, and another guy performing as a statue. Is it correct to apply a verb to someone who sits completely still? I dug through my wallet and found a few coins, mainly pennies, so when I say I dropped a few coppers into his pot I’m being quite literal. Hey, I know he’s gotta learn a living, but I’m skint so it was the best I could do.

Continuing on towards the underground I suddenly remembered that my rent benefit came in early so I decided to celebrate by stopping at the grocery store and splurging on something to eat other than canned soup or pasta, only when I got there I had a hard time choosing what stuff to get. It’s hard to concentrate when ya gotta poop, so in the end I only made it out of there with some peppers, bananas, and a baguette. The bread went nice with soup, and the bananas were a nice treat for dessert, but I was happy to finally go out on Monday and pick up some meat and veg. Living the high life, I tell ya.

A few nights ago I watched a BBC Documentary: Gay & Transgender Teens – Coming Out Diaries and one girl, Natalie, was having a really hard time with her mum who kept insisting that her son was “just going through a phase” (argh!). One place where Natalie got to be herself was at her intern job at Argos. I was so pleased that Argos had a corporate policy of tolerance, and thought “I should write them a letter and tell them so”.

I do that alot, though, think about writing letters to people/companies, but I’ve never been good at following through. Remembering this is to be my year of change, and before I could waffle out of it, I quickly opened another tab and fired off an email to their Corporate Headquarters. The next day, as I was laying in bed (staying warm), the phone rang and it was Argos calling to thank me for my email! I had a really great chat with the guy, and it felt really good to not only have been a potential counter-balance to any asshole that might have sent a negative email, but to have actually followed through on something.

At the threat of overwhelming myself with all this change crap, I also followed through on submitting my application to the Beginners Acting Class. I have now been accepted, and will be starting the first class this Thursday night. Gulp!

I was originally to be in a Tuesday evening class, which means I had to cancel a paid photo gig I had booked for next Thursday, but I think it’s a necessary sacrifice. The mere idea of the acting class scares the beejeesus out of me, so it’s gonna take every ounce of my will-power to both attend AND participate. I weighed the pros and cons of just skipping class and going to the photoshoot because as y’all know I desperately need the money, but I also know that if I were to let myself skip that class there’d be nothing to stop me from finding excuses to skip any or all of the rest and it’s extremely important to me that I attend all 8 of these classes. Besides, maybe there will be students in my class that would want to use my services to create their portfolios. Ya never know, right?

79 miles done, 921 to go