Checklist for a new 43Things:
1.) What is the new THING?
2.) How can I measure it?
3.) How will I feel when I get it?
What Will I Do To Get It?
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
What are four obstacles that could come up and stop me from getting my THING?
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
What structures will I put in place to make sure I stay on track? What will I put in place to overcome the four obstacles?
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
My chewing hasn’t abated, not even a little bit. But I do seem to realize fairly quickly when I’m at it—and get really annoyed at myself.
Who’s conquered this (besides the guy who dreamed and drew on his fingers—not really an option)? I need help, advice, recommendations…AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
That’s my new challenge. Finding one thing I love that I can make a little money doing…actually, I need to just find out what I love again. Years ago my husband and I started our own business—for about eight years, we were either working or sleeping, not much time for anything else (okay, we occasionally ate, but that’s about it).
Don’t get me wrong: we had so many good times and met some truly amazing people. But eventually you get tired, like down to your soul.
When we came out of that experience (we sold our business…I sorta feel sorry for the poor saps that bought it), we both discovered that we’d forgotten who we were—not together, but individually.
So, anxiety has sprouted up for me because I forgot what I liked to do. Maybe more than that because I was young when I started my career and soon after started and ran our business. I don’t think I really knew who I was to begin with—most of the things I love/d were things a teenager loved, not necessarily what I, as a more grown-up person, enjoys.
And a new challenge presented itself: figure out what you like/love to do as a 38-year old.
Personality issues: I’m one of those people that has a difficult time focusing. I like everything and want to try it all. I’m also a PERFECTIONIST. So when I try something new, I want to be perfect at it from the get-go. Otherwise, my commitment level is questionable. I mean, why try something unless I’m going to master it immediately (I read this and think, “who do I think I am? Some weird prodige’?”).
Guess what? I’m rarely good at anything the first time I try it. Who is?! See the problem?
Now I just have to “do it” as Nike says. Whether I suck or not. Just do “it,” whatever “it” is.
Right now “it” is guitar, digital composing, making art (digital mostly…it’s the cheapest), reading more, learning Spanish, re-learning French, cooking at home more—exercising my body, expanding my mind.
Oh yeah, and figuring out how to become financially independent within 10 years…and lastly, being remembered for one thing.
Just gotta put it all together. Easy right? We’ll see. It could be that I make it hard. Again, we’ll see.
What can I say? The internet, for me, has become my favorite procastination and avoidance tool. I like(d) to pretend that I was “doing research” or “learning” but in all honestly, I’m wasting a lot of time. Time I could be using to improve myself—not necessarily working, but playing guitar, relaxing with my husband, taking a walk (Folks, I live in Santa Fe. It’s truly one of the most beautiful places in the world.), reading, you name it, but essentially it comes down to me getting to be a better me.
Side note: i’ve come to realize that all the internet time not only eats into my “me” time, it also makes me more anxious, tense, and frankly, dumb. All good reasons to lay off, or at the very least, cut back.
Then I took up gnawing at my cuticles. I’ve figured out that I bite them mostly in the evening or at night. I’m not sure but I suspect that it has something to do with anxiety and/or some chemical thing in my brain. Whatever it is, I’m determined to stop. Whether it takes plain ‘ol willpower, taking up a hobby (or a host of them) or what, I REALLY want to put this behind me.
