Griff74

There are many ways to say good bye to things in life. But there is no right way to do it when it comes to something like an influence which has been unfruitful, manipulative and draining. Having had the experience of doing this lately, I feel that I owe it to myself to not feel bad about what happened. Keeping in touch with an old partner is the hardest thing to do in the context of a relationship at it’s final stage of demise. If not because of the awkward situations it causes, then for the fact that there are still so many things unresolved and put to rest. To just let things linger is not fair on either party, so I instigated a situation where I could be sure that there would be no more contact. She would only call me if she needed something. She hadn’t rung in over six weeks. I had a crisis situation that required a calm ear to listen – that calm ear was not there in the sense of listening, and there was little interest to do so at the time. This really was the straw that broke the Camel’s back, as I had always (and I mean always) been there for this lady – after that point, she called two weeks later wanting to meet, and then called off the meeting—she enquired if we could meet again, but also asking a favour (of substantial size) and I coyly answered that I did know how to get something solved, but did not reply to her demand. I left it at that. I know that she will not call back. I miss her dearly, but if every time she contacts me is for a favour – then it’s not really worth anything to me. I wish her all the best in everything she does, I think she is fabulous in her own way and I hope she finds what it is that she’s looking for. Since I cannot say this to her now, I have it here for posterity

Must do this, I feel so guilty when I see everybody elses, and think of the effort they made.

You know, I’ve been observing the behaviour of other people lately, and although on the surface their actions can seem a little selfish if not overbearing – there is some sense to their logic. I’m talking about people who claim or assume a position in any situation that wouldn’t ordinarily be seen as rightfully theirs. The guy who takes the last seat on the train just after pushing by you as you head for it, the lady taking the parking space you’ve been waiting two minutes for in the shopping centre carpark, that somebody who pushes their way to the bar and gets served way before you, the guy who wrangles his way in and starts chatting up that good looking broad you’ve been chatting to (and bought several drinks for) all night.

Shit happens? Doesn’t it?

I think the thing is, to decide whether it’s going to happen to me or not!

Frankly, I get tired of these situations, because let’s face it, it can’t be all down to bad manners, because it happens way too often.

So now, I find myself leaving the group when it’s my round at the pub – I would frequently have forked out money for drinks only to give them to people who rarely bought rounds… I’ve even found myself launching into conversation about an important topic (especially at work) without an opening lead line, and only the other day I found myself opening the dor for one lady, and then passing through obstructing the passage of her girlfriends behind her (all 6 of them).

I think the trick is to use these actions in moderation.

The fact is, nice doesn’t always get you the nice stuff in life, sometimes nasty does. Ever wonder why people who sometimes least deserve the goodies in life often end up with them. Well, that’s how. I think I’m going to enjoy this game – but only in moderation. I’ll use it as the seasoning to everything I do, and not the main ingredient.

Actually, this may have started with me some time ago, probably about three weeks ago. I was at a work event and we went for drinks after, I was with a friend I met up with afterwards, and we decided to hit this bar he liked. Well, as the evening progressed (and two beers later), he nipped off to get some more beer, and this girl starts chatting away to me. I didn’t know her, she didn’t know me, and place was very packed. thirty seconds into conversation, she exclaimed that she thought I was very rude. I enquired as to why she thought this, and she retorted that she didn’t like the fact that I hadn’t offered her my friends seat. I simply explained to her that I had known my friend all of nine years, and that I barely knew her 30 seconds. Well, you wouldn’t believe the response I got, it was more of a ‘how dare you’, and ‘how rude’

‘Like it or lump it, I don’t really care.’

end of conversation.

Not a great way to get chatting to the ladies, I admit – but I don’t go in for picking up random strangers at bars, and definitely not ones that attempt to take liberties with a situation like that.

That’s where the edge kicks in. It’s looking after number one for a change (and sometimes those closest to us). It’s saying to the rest… this is me. I’m me, because I do stuff for me. If you don’t like, lump it. And if you lump it – do it on your own time.

I’m going to try this philosophy out, and then see how it goes.