Hiippie

I have a lot of days thinking of a lot o things to write. I have had alot of ideas and things. I thought i will write about world wars, peace, women, i dont know a lot of silly stuff. But in this moment ican only think in one thing: in Him. Why can’t i write all those things in my head?.Why can’t i even think in those things anymore?
I only can think of how my stomach feels butterflies when i see him, or how it me¿akes me nervous when he laugh at me. I fel so stupid, i feel so silly, but specially i feel alive. I’ve havn’t felt this psecial in all my life.I feel like i started to live since the moment i saw him.It is the strangest thing ever.I feel like I am not me anymore.
It feels like some girl came and took cntrol of my body. A girl that i didn’t like but felt the way i’ve always wanted to feel.This girl doesn’t have my usual selfconfidence and bitchyness; she doesnt have the power to be a smartass or the will to always be better than the others. She is realy shy and humble. But she doesnt care about all those superficial things, she just care about him.She have this feeling i’ve never had. She talks about love and romance like if they were the best thing ever. She hs fallen in love.
But why did i hated s much? Ñthat question has been in my head for days and days. And you know what? I have found an answer. Since the moment i had this question ireally knew the answer. The problem was i didnt wanted to accept it. Ifelt like if i thinked iot again andagain something else would come upp. But it didnt worked.
I was jealous, iwas jealous of htat girl i am materalizing and i hated so much.
But how could i hate her so much? how could i be so jealous of her?
if that girl was me. was a new and sttrange psrt of me. Maybe im scared. Well i actually know im sacerd but why? Scared od the best feeling ever, or maybe just scared of leting love in.