HipStarPingu

This is pretty much easy. i dont find myself disliking myself anymore but its more im happy with my self its my current situations that i find mindnumbing. things make me upset because ive done all i can for a long while to make someone else like me and because i couldnt i disliked me. now i like me and still it feel like no one likes me. sometimes i feel like even my friends dont like me. i know i know that thats not true but its logical truth isnt what i am basing my feelings on. i think i might be a fucking mess.

so i recetly moved out about 4 months ago. ive kinda got my spending under control, i can keep my dog fed, myself fed and all that good stuff. my room however becomes a pig sty in mere days..sometimes hours after cleaning it. im a very lazy person, also slightly prone to depression so living in filth is my subconsious outter expression of my insides.
sooo…lets try an turn a new leaf an be more happy and more tidy.

Its not really that im not awkward around the people i know and love. im awkward around them the most out of anyone, its the fact that these people appriciated and dont mind my awkwardness as much as a stranger would. i seem like a smiling blabbering idiot around new people. i dont know how it happens, and the worse is if im interested in someone, i might say or not say so many things that make me seem super awkward. i dont think ill complete this goal but learn to live with it and find people who can live with it and still love me