HobbyFreeMom

After what would have been 21 days sober, last night I decided that I could handle ONE drink. My house is stocked with beer for a Party we are having tonight for my husbands coworkers… THe party was scheduled well before I quit, so I thought I would have no problem getting through it. Apparently not. All night my mind was preoccupied with all the booze in the house. I was fighting the battle… “one wont hurt, YES IT WILL, no ONE wont hurt…” I am sure you can all relate. I eventually gave in, and after my husband went to sleep, I poured myself a Guinness. SOmething I would never have drank before, but seemed like a better (stronger) choice then canned bud light. well, as you can imagine, one didnt do it for me. I quickly drank four more bud lights and hid all the cans in the recycling bin… I cried myself to sleep, SOBBING. I woke up this morning extremely disappointed in myself, and with HUGE swollen puffy eyes as a further reminder.
The first three weeks seemed easy. This is now becoming harder then I had anticipated. In a way, I am glad that this little slip up ended this way, a hard, cold, slap in the face reminder of why I began this journey. Rather then a small point of weakness that may have served as an enabler (allowing me to have ONE MORE later tonight) But I am sad, I wish that I could have the same relationship with the stuff that others do. I wish that I could enjoy candlelit dinners with wine or tailgating with a cold one. Somehow my seltzer is holding up to it’s end of the deal.

I feel like shit today. Wish me luck tonight.

There is hope! AND I AM PROOF!
I was never the go out and do shots kind of drunk, but seemed to overindulge almost EVERYNIGHT. Even two glasses of wine, and I was searching the house for more, hiding extra bottles under the sink, etc. I woud l do almost anything for a fix, even broke into my brothers apartment to steal canned budweiser out of the fridge. I would always cover my tracks the next day, Sometimes I would jump awake at night worried that I left evidence laying around the house.
Remembering this behavior is what I hope will help me forget about the stuff forever. I am a new mom, stay-at-home with my gorgeous 8 month old daughter. She deserves so much better then a mom with a hangover…
I also read chapters of Allen Carr’s book as strength (I enjoy it although I can see how it may not be for everyone).

My advice is Al-Anon. I could never get the courage to go to a regular AA meeting, I pictured my alcoholic father with shaky hands and cigarette breath… so I visited an Al-Anon meeting instead. I expected a quick fix to all my problems at this meeting, but got something so much more. I recommend it to everyone.

GOOD LUCK!!

Does anyone know why my edges are so messed up looking?
they seem jagged and crooked… Iam not sure what I am doing wrong…

I want to start a project but think my edges need more practice. I have gotten good at switching back and forth from knit to purl stitch…