Life does not stop, it just keeps going and somehow I must too. But I have some of his things and so many good memories. I have his pictures which always either make me smile or cry.
Imissyoudaddy's Life List
1. get over my fathers death
Today is worse than yesterday. I don’t know what to do except write and read about getting over the pain of loss. My dad was a good man. Everyone he met liked him. It seems so wrong that he’s dead when there are so many mean and evil people in the world.
I read about one person who kept telling everyone that her brother was dead. I can’t seem to help doing that too. I tell people that my father died. It seems like I’m trying to find a way to face the fact that he is dead.
What hurts the most is that it is very likely that he suffered before he died. My family has fallen apart over his death. Saddly what he always told us he wanted most was for everyone in the family to get along.
I hear it is natural to blame someone when a loved one dies. You either blame yourself or the hospital he died in or someone who cared for the person or was with the person when death occured.
Daddy I love you so much and I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about how lively you were just a few weeks ago. Then you couldn’t even tell me if you needed anything or if you were in pain. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop thinking I could have changed the outcome somehow. If only last week I would have… I will always remember today, Sunday November 26, as the day you died. How can there be Christmas without you? Will this pain ever go away? At least I was able to say I love you daddy. I will always, always love you.