Trainer is away next week. He deserves it, but … it’s AWFUL!
All beginners lessons are cancelled except one on Wednesday.
But I got the book, I was shown many things to practise, MANY things; I have enough to do next week, without Trainer.
My stance isn’t getting corrected EVERY time now. Isn’t that SWEET!
Also, Trainer said my sitting position at the meditation was very good.
So, he thinks, I got it in me.
So, I have decided to think so, too. 8)
Another news: a few weeks ago I gathered all my courage and asked Sifu if I could join the reading sessions which take part after the meditation.
(Sifu has written a book [Krieg der Bergdämonen, available only in German] which is much about… well, I think it’s Zen Buddhism.)
Again he wasn’t inclined to let me attend.
Those sessions have been going on for a while and have advanced a lot.
But I was in (carefully dignified but honest) begging mode again.
He asked me if I had read his book
“What do you think of it?”
“I like it. It’s clear and without fluff and blah. I found several things in it which I could apply to every-day situations at once. Other parts, most parts, I don’t really understand though. That’s why I want to attend the reading sessions. To understand.”
Join us for three or four times and then give me feedback.”
That, to me, was the perfect solution.
Because, yes, I feel like testing and giving feedback.
I call Sifu “Sifu”, because he is a Master of Kung fu. He truly is, his school is a special place indeed, as far as I can tell (and I am good at recognising such things) with a pure spirit.
Still, Sifu is not my spiritual Master.
I am not looking for a Master. He is more advanced than me in many ways, but that doesn’t mean I am going to crouch at his feet and wait for him to enlighten me.
I want to know what he has to say, and I compare this with my own knowledge and experience.
And learn, yes.
So, I have attended three reading sessions by now.
It turned out that they didn’t read anything any more, but talked about experience with practising silence, sense/feel the spinal column, do things with full attention and stuff.
Sifu, stern and quite aloof, did say good things. I found no reason to distrust him.
Heh, and last reading session he dismissed the whole group. He was (in my words) really pissed off, coz people don’t practice enough but only come to the sessions, apparently, he says, ‘waiting for the spiritual honey to drop into their mouths’.
He said “It is a pity, pupils used to kneel in front of the monastery for three days and nights, begging for admission. Those times, unfortunately, are over…”
He is starting a new reading cycle in September, which is very good for me.
On the other hand…
This time I wasn’t among those he criticized, I am much too new for him to be disappointed with me… X)
But I am not sure if I am stubborn enough to satisfy his expectations and demands re practising…
At the bottom of all this I am growing more and more grateful every day that I started Tai Chi, and that I found this school.
That it exists in the very city wherein I live.
Places like this are rare.
It feels like what I have yearned for since I first learned about martial arts.
I am grateful!