Inuki

I'm doing 43 things

2010 resolutions

I've done 14 things

Inuki's Life List

1. Invent a time machine, go back and invent said time machine yesterday so I have time machine right now
1 cheer 8 people
2. paint a tasteful portrait of Christ on a bike
2 people
3. Create an army of cybernetically enhanced warriors mounted on giant armored chickens
19 people
4. go to a drunken party, but not be drunk. Maybe have a buzz but let the drunk people entertain me, like TV
2 people
5. find my glorious image on a piece of toast, sell it on ebay for a grand sum of money, donate the proceeds to my favorite charity
4 people
6. drink that purp, or sizzurp
2 people
7. I wanna ride my harley on planet pluto beneath flying unicorns and aliens drunk on vodka
2 people
8. find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto...more often
2 people

9.

fight an evil killer robot ninja monkey and his legion of super mutant zombie monkeys, with the help of my friend, future eddee and his trusty sidekick, nacho the super duper donkey

3 people

10.

celebrate my David Lynch-themed birthday, and ensuing quarter life train wreck, by violently purging my stomach lining and destroying any sense of decency I once had by snorting cocaine off a backward-speaking midget’s back

3 people

14.

become so jaded and bitter that I drop out of society to live in the wilderness in a timber hut while tending to abstract mathematical theorems, the "MANIFESTO" and have conversations with the ghosts of dead 80's hair metal acts.
2 cheers

34 people

15.

I want to dress up like a pirate, hijack a galleon, and board cruise ships without permission. I won't steal anything -- just make the passengers drink rum and wake up wondering if the night before really happened...
1 cheer

320 people

16.

Remind all those stuck-up,mean-spirited,haute couture-hypnotized,frozen-beauties that they're just walking mini-oceans with oily chunks of tissue supported by rickety calcium rods that are wrapped up in a semi-permeable,UV resistant membrane.
1 cheer

1 person

22.

skip to class in the morning while the world explodes around me in a plethora of beautiful sonic explosions caused by the collision of multiple strings of space-time after a comet strikes the pope

5 people

23.

I want to be someone or see someone taking a break from eating rolls to roll a joint while they roll while drinking a rolling rock while listening to rock and roll in a rolls thats rolling through some rolling hills

3 people

24.

show my former diocese priest a series of disturbing vacation slides showing my descent from good wholesome catholic boy to a perverse gap-toothed maniac intent on turning my house into an exact replica of a Cluedo board with candlestick furnishings.
1 cheer

1 person

25.

run through an Amish village naked covered with nintendo controllers, xmas lights and an Ipod buttplug all while screaming "IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN."
2 cheers

13 people

32.

help push along the current mass extinction of species on Earth by sitting on my verandah in the afternoon and taking potshots at animals and neighbours then lighting a large rubber tire fire to dispose of the fuel-drenched corpses.
3 cheers

1 person

33. hold a party involving 500 loyal followers and a truckload of kool aid before discarding our human containers to ride a comet to heaven
1 cheer 6 people

34.

devour a bottle of Adrenochrome and wake up in a flooded hotel room with a dinosaur tail strapped to my butt, a recorder on my chest, drug paraphenalia floating across the room and a six-shooter in the toilet.

3 people

35. camp out in cranberry bogs
2 people

36.

engage in spirited discourse regarding the “touchy” issues with the eventual goal of restoring balance to a nation about to topple off the edge of logic and into sheer insanity

2 people

37. discourse on the supercalifragilisticexpialidociously awful aspects of 19th Century Antidisestablishmentarianism and its adverse impact on modern British society
4 people

38.

climb mount everest and at the summit wail on a guitar to a 80's hair metal act like Van Halen or Dokken while fighter jets fly over streaming the stars and stripes and bigfoot trucks driven by swimsuit models climb up the mountain.

12 people

39.

King Arthur to congratulate me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war will end. Reagan will steal my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

1 person

40. implode
3 people

41.

make my keyboard and mouse have sex thus making some form of freaky new computer paraphernalia which I shall give the German sounding name of kouse or von meboard.
4 cheers

3 people

42.

become calm and tranquil like a buddhist monk meditating at Lake Placid and when people aren't expecting it *BAM!* I'll turn into a supersized ferocious crocodile and eat them.

9 people

43. Add the impossible-to-add goal
1 person

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