I’m waiting for it to sink in.
IrishGuitars3's Life List
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1. play at a coffee shop
1 entry . 40 cheers3 people -
2. keep my list of goals do-able and achievable
1 entry . 12 cheers2 people -
3. run a 10K
3 cheers695 people -
4. run 1000 miles this year
2 entries . 1 cheer1 person -
5. run a marathon
1 cheer8,409 people -
6. learn the kings and queens of England since 1066
5 cheers3 people -
7. volunteer with Habitat for Humanity
8 cheers43 people -
8. visit all 50 states
1 entry . 1 cheer6,005 people -
9. visit all 7 continents
2 cheers1,056 people -
10. Complete a triathalon
1 cheer285 people -
11. stop being afraid of fear
1 entry . 17 cheers1 person -
12. Stop caring what other people think of me
1 entry . 24 cheers3,647 people -
13. Be remembered with a smile
22 cheers37 people -
14. think before i speak
11 cheers516 people -
15. go to a red sox game
6 cheers66 people -
16. Go to the London Olympics in 2012
50 people -
17. be more Christ-like
24 cheers74 people -
18. sing a child to sleep
19 cheers1 person -
19. make friendships that last
1 entry . 11 cheers2 people -
20. see "Rent" on Broadway
9 cheers144 people -
21. own an electric guitar
1 entry . 9 cheers5 people -
22. finish writing a song
1 cheer19 people -
23. shave my head
8 cheers886 people -
24. audition for "Jeopardy!"
8 cheers13 people -
25. go hunting
1 entry . 3 cheers153 people -
26. learn to juggle
11 cheers969 people -
27. learn to snowboard
8 cheers2,169 people -
28. prove wrong some stereotypes made about me
1 entry . 14 cheers3 people -
29. get my bartending license
96 people
I’m a little more than 400 miles into this and we’re almost into August. This might mean that I won’t hit 1000 miles by the end of this year, but it won’t hurt to try!
This is getting harder than I had ever imagined. And it doesn’t help that we’re sleeping together every now and then.
Most will argue that sex is an expression of love and I agree with this. But there is a deeper, truer belief within me that sex is something to be saved, something to wait for. To be cliche, all good things are worth waiting for. But it’s really really hard when you’ve used all your words and your gifts and your kisses.
I want to save myself for her, but I don’t know if she wants to save herself for me. She’s a very impressionable young woman and it doesn’t help that her best friends at college have been unintentionally bombarding her with stories of how they lost their virginity. She used to be pretty strong on this point, but it’s rather disappointing how we’ve both made pacts on “how far to go” and gone past those boundaries.
There is no way that we are going to the extreme of ending the relationship over this, but…I don’t know what to do. We aren’t in this together, perhaps that’s what hurts the most. I’m the one making the decisions and she follows them blindly. She doesn’t have as solid a moral base as she once did. She borrows from those around her, constantly compromising and constantly conforming until her standards are undefined. I would hardly call myself perfect and don’t dare blame anyone for this. I just want this to be about US, not about my making the decision alone.
