Jawknee

Started cutting 2 years ago, stopped after a while but recently have started again. I don’t do it everyday, just a few days a week when I get extremely depressed or I feel like I’ve screwed up. I am extremely shy and have antisocial leanings, but I’ve tried to improve but it just isn’t working. When I get embarrassed when I feel I shouldn’t or don’t do things that I feel I should, I cut to punish myself for being so weak and pathetic. I know It’s wrong but it’s the only thing that makes me feel better. I’ve tried other things to help me cope, but they just don’t work, I don’t know what to do.

Well tomorrow is the day, everything going good so far except that I’m not gonna be able to leave as early as I would like. I went to withdraw the money from the bank today but it’s a holiday so was closed. Am going to have to do it tomorrow morning after I drop friends off at school. Anyways, should be out of here tomorrow around 9:00 a.m., so good luck to anyone else doing this and happy new year (I hope).

Just a little update. Sunday night here in Montana, and am gonna try to run on Wednesday morning (weather permitting, I don’t have to leave THAT day but am preparing for it). I got a good plan on leaving in the morning before school that should work like a charm. Will make my friends I take to school and parents think I’m actually in school all day but they wont find out I’m not till after school which gives me a good 8 hrs on the run before anyone has any idea that anything is going on. As far as preparing what to bring, I think I’ve got all the stuff I need and even some stuff just for entertainment. One thing I’m not sure of yet is transportation. I live in a small town, so no bus, so thinking of using my dads bike to ride to the place which is only a couple hundred miles away.