JennB

I haven’t been on this site since I wrote an entry over 6 months ago. I’ve been single since last July.
Sometimes it was hard, for sure. Some days you just want that person who’s always there for you and knows you so well. On those days I would sometimes give in and feel down. Other times I would focus on the good things or distract myself with something. One of the nice things is that I’ve been able to devote a lot of my time to a lot more of my friends. I’ve become much better friends with a lot of the people in my life because my schedule has been so open and available to get together with them! I’ve realized that this is something I want to keep up even when I am dating someone. It’s so easy once you get into a relationship to unintentionally cut back on time with other people or other activities you enjoy. I’ve been able to try out new things, new hobbies. I even got into a workout routine and now go to the rec almost every day!
During the past month I’ve been pretty happy being single. Haven’t really had any sad days but have really been enjoying life. And in the past week I’ve met or had the opportunity to go out with quite a few guys. It’s weird how that happened. Last night I said yes to a wonderful guy who I’ve known for a couple years as a friend. He’d asked if I wanted to start dating, taking it really slow at first and only if I was really ready to not be single. I said that it was just ironic that right as I was truly happy being myself a great opportunity came to be with someone.I see someone mentioned this idea a few posts down. I almost didn’t take it because I was scared-scared of commitment and being in a relationship, scared that one of us would get hurt. But I decided that if that was the only reason I was hesitating that was a pretty pathetic reason! So I said yes, I wanted to go for it. He got the biggest smile on his face and even now as I’m writing this I can’t help but smile.
I want to encourage all of you. I know where you’re all at. I’ve been through the rough times, the ok times, the truly happy being single times. I feel so much more confident about myself and what I want out of life having taken that time for myself. I know I’m not going to change those things for any guy but have now proven that I can wait for a guy who wants those things too. If any of you are feeling down, just hold on. I promise it gets better. And probably just about the time when you’re truly happy with yourself, someone will notice.

After ending a serious relationship this summer I decided that rather than jumping right back into another relationship like I have in the past I really need some time just to myself. I feel like maybe I should figure out what I want and who exactly I want to be before trying to find someone that’ll fit with that. But it’s been hard.
I have a tendency to go with the flow and start caring about someone before I realize what’s happenning. I’m sick of trying to find my happiness in other people though! I know I need to learn to be at peace with just myself. A lot of days I do feel very good about this whole single thing. But other days it’s just really hard and I want to be with someone pretty much just for the sake of being with someone…’cause I’m lonely. I think it helps to know there are plenty of others out there also working on this!