JessPon

I now live in Madrid. I have been here for two years. Pretty sure I am here indefinatly. This summer I may take 6 of my Spanish friends to visit Oklahoma. I have been thinking of all the exciting tourist things I will show them. They will be surprised. Oklahoma is nothing like Spain. Also, planning a road trip from Oklahoma to New York so if anyone knows exciting stops along the way, please share.

When I was visiting home last summer I dug up lots of old journals, diaries, and poetry books. I scanned then all. I now have a digital record of my writings thru the years. Now to revisit and organize them…..

I have found the ying to my yang, the ups to my downs, the smile to my tears. I have found the meaning of unconditonal love. It happend in a theater. It was instant. We knew in the moment. When our hands touched to say hello there was electricity. Relationships take work. Bringing two lives together has challenges. But I feel like I am flying. We are happy. We are peaceful. We love and laugh. It is the kind of story I always dreamed but never thought possible. The kind of life you imagine. It takes letting go of fear. Trusting. Erasing insecurities. Living in the moment and knowing that this is the greatest person on earth for me. That I did not settle. I did not give up. I found exactly what I always wanted. It is YOU.

Make friends that speak the language and spend time with them and their families!!!!

It was a freeing journey to lay to rest hopes of a returned relationship. To finally see clearly the friendship so strong between us. To give thanks that the path of friendship has stayed intact during the previous years. And to look forward to a day when we will meet again. Sept 2008 is the last time we have seen each other. So, here’s to you friend of mine. I love you and I thank you. You are a great friend and confident. I miss you and I can’t wait to see you again! Enjoy the adventure of life. Un abrazo fuerte

I recently joined couch surfing. I am in the midst of my first couch surfing experience and so far all things are good :) Its a great idea: kind heart, good people that like to meet like minded people and welcome them into their countries. Its great!

I am working at Richmond Vale Acdemy now.

If you’ve thought about the Peace Corps but,
1. You have no degree
2. 27 months is too long
3. You are not a citizen of the United States
4. You get denied
5. Its just not the right program for you….

You train in the Caribbean then go to projects in Malawi, South Africa, Mozambique, or Ecuador.

Take a look at richmondvale.org
or email me at jessica@richmondvaleacademy.org

Everyone is welcome to participate regardless of citizenship, religion, age (must be at least 18), belief system, preference…

Learn in the Caribbean and be a volunteer in Mozambique, South Africa, Malawi, Belize Central America, or Ecuador.
Gain a voluntary experience, travel and help other people, live in international environment and get to know different cultures of different countries. Learn Portuguese language or Spanish. Improve your communication and organization skills. 9, 14 or 20 months program. Boarding expenses. No special qualification needed.
No salary in the first 6 months. In Africa food, accommodation, pocket money, and health insurance.
For more information visit: www.richmondvaleacademy.org
Contact: jessica@richmondvaleacademy.org

So… After much paperwork and hospital visits I have been denied :( According to the Peace Corps I have an elevated platelet condition that won’t allow me to be accepted. Anywho. I tried I gave it my all. I didn’t go the first time I was accepted and now this time around I am denied :(.... Life is interesting.

All medical paperwork was mailed today. Now the real wait begins… :)
There did not seem to be anything outstanding that would need a follow-up, but this is the Peace Corps so I am prepared for anything!!

I was nominated about 2 weeks ago.
March- SubSahara Africa- TEFL.
May 15 my medical kit was sent. I should receive it with just enough time to get my exams before I loose my insurance on May 31.
I’m excited to be moving forward. I feel good about the Peace Corps.

This time I mean it!
I want Kids, I want to be a mom. She doesn’t- her only son is 12 and she is finished. I said we could just have an in home daycare, she doesn’t want this either. We just want different things. We are different people.

No other way to say it…

WASTED TIME by: Me’Shell NdegéOcello
You rarely notice but I hang on your every word
Everything you say
You are much too busy to notice me
You turn and walk away
Into another’s arms hopeless ashamed
I wish I could hold you that way
Brokenhearted I dream for you to notice me

Wasted time on loving you wasted time
Wasted time on someone
Who won’t love you as much as I
As much as I as much as I as much as I

In my fantasy you are asleep beside me
I feel you breathe
If only I could be there for you
The one that you make love to

Wasted time on loving you wasted time
Wasted time on someone
Who won’t love you as much as I
As much as I as much as I as much as I

I’ve been in love with Kansas since October 2006. We live in two different states but far too close to have only met in person once (Nov 2006). Its nothing physical but I love everything about her. I can not count the times I have proposed (and meant it!!!) I wanted to give up Africa, I wanted to give up everything, just to make her mine. But she’s never been real with me. Never told me that she loved me. She doesn’t deserve me. I always say I’m moving on. That this is nothing and there is no reason it should occupy so much of my time… and then she calls—-

(Deep exhale) 3 years and for what. You disappear more than you stay. You have my number, how hard is it to use it? Then how are you going to come to Oklahoma and not call me? Three years of nothing, but by undevoted love. My love for naught. I offered you everything I would have given up Africa. I wanted to make you my adventure. All you’ve ever done is hurt and lie and still I give you truth and honesty. Every beautiful thing reminds me of you. Every beautiful woman is a reflection of you. And every great love story gives me glimpses of what we should be. Once again I’m still in love with you, even though you overlook me.

U two can be my life, my world. Its only been a few days but know no matter what, no matter who, I will always be here if you need me. You deserve unspeakable joy and love beyond reason.

GOODBY MY LOVER: JAMES BLUNT

“I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can’t break my spirit – it’s my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile.
I’ve watched you sleeping for a while.
I’d be the father of your child.
I’d spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We’ve had our doubts but now we’re fine,
And I love you, I swear that’s true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me”.

“When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden”.
KHALIL GIBRAN

I took a year off from relationships… so far things have been good.
At some point I will step back into relationships, and though I love HER I must be open to the fact that more than likely someone else is coming my way.
I will ALWAYS love HER, and HER is ALWAYS my best friend. But at some point hopes of a relationship must close. I think I have finally reached that point.
I am thankful for these posts, they have really helped me move from the dream of a relationship with HER into the reality of friendship only.

I wish I could put it into words. Last night you were so drunk you told me to kiss you. I only did, because you went back to our past. You told me how you felt I was the only person to “see the real you”. It hurt so bad when you stopped talking to me suddenly, I never knew why. But after listening to you, I learned you were feeling me and it scared you- for many reasons- all of which I understand. I promise I wasn’t approaching you like that. I didn’t want to confuse your life. You cried. We yelled. We kissed. You cried. We yelled. We kissed. I don’t know what this changes? Maybe nothing?

So HER knows all about them and they know all about HER, but this blasted continent that seperates us… Hopefully soon HER will travel to Oklahoma, and I can introduce HER to my family, my friends, and my life :)

We are not together now, and the reality is HER could at any moment move on to anyone else. I love HER, and it would be great if we could be together, but I am always thankful for the year we shared. I know even if we are never a couple again, HER and I will ALWAYS be best friends.