JessieBeatrice

It took a long time for me to do this. I finally did it, and I am so happy to be a car owner now. It’s not going to be easy owning a car, and I will have to work hard and make lots of money so that I can keep it on the road…but I know I can do it.

Part of this totally different life I’m going to have, is me fitting into my clothes again, and maybe they will even be too big. By this time next year, I hope to be proud of my report card and of my GPA. Instead of being ashamed. I have the best of intentions when it comes to school, and I did do really well, but I should have done better. I have the best of intentions when eating, I try to eat right and get pleanty of veggies, but clearly the now matter how great my intentions are, it doesn’t guarantee that I won’t look like a dumb manatee on paper.

By this time next year, I hope I will have a car, and be planning a road trip to somewhere cool, somewhere I’ve never been. By this time next year, I hope I will have more friends.

That weight watcher’s commerical..with the lady singing..and the little blurbs about being the fattest woman in the room, and having nothing to wear..yep that’s me.

I cannot freaking believe how HUGE I am. A blouse that I bought a year ago, and wore less than six months ago, does not fit. I can’t even get the buttons to close. I can’t believe this. Pants that I bought in the fall when I started school, are super tight on me. I start an internship Monday and really need these clothes to fit me—and they don’t. I can get away with the pants, but gosh now I have to go find tops. I’ve always thought of myself as intelligent, as a person who doesn’t gobble up huge ammounts of junk food. Why is this happening to me? At night, when I’m watching TV or doing homework, I’m eating celery and drinking water. God. I’m so angry with myself. My jeans don’t even fit me. Here I am a million miles away from home with all these clothes that don’t fit. I don’t have money to go out and buy a new “fat” wardrobe. I feel like I could cry right now.