Jillianwustl1

Insomnia and Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder are two different illness. It’s best to read up on them and talk to your doctor if you are suffering from either. DSD, is characterized by the ability to sleep for a duration of 8 hours but not in synch with the proper clock. For years I could only sleep from 3-4 am onwards ( not an hour before) , thus if I had to wake up at 8 am, I only could get 4 hours sleep and was very tired throughout the day. If I was allowed to sleep for the full 8 hours my body felt better yet I was so out of rythym with the rest of the world ( besides rock stars and charlie sheen :P) my mood was low because I could not engage in regular activities.
Medication isn’t usually given to DSD as other therapies are used instead, but for me who had co-occuring depression the trial and error therapies (which take months to work), only led to more frustration and upset. Most people with a type of mood disorder will have disturbances in sleep, aiding to that is if you arent sleeping well, you probably arent on the up and up. So it’s good to always be mindful of your moods as they both effect each other!

Anyway, the long and the short of it is.. Many doctors don’t know of DSD as it is less common than insomnia and cannot be tested physically. Although it is classified as a disability in the US, so if you’re suffering don’t think or punish yourself because you can’t just fix it overnight. Most therapies take months to see results, and over the long term are not seen as successful. I was put on medication by a Psychiatrist who had seen much more cases than your typical Family Doctor and have been ‘cured’ since then. While medication isn’t for everyone and i’m not pushing it, as there are many draw-backs, side effects, and long term reliance. But for me, it was the only way to live a normal life and be better able to battle MDD.

Anyway, talk to your doctor, don’t punish/blame yourself, realize that some things are out of your control even if there’s no blood test to ‘prove’ it, and realize if it’s been ongoing for some time, you can’t cure it over night

I always said to myself, why get my license.. I have no where to go. Just another way of not engaging with the world fully. Now that i’m past that stage I can say that I do have somewhere to go/get to.. My independance, freedom, any adventure I choose, and finding out what places I love going to and the places I don’t. Just another way to have more possibilities in life, I’m so happy I can see and appreciate this now. Having this goal is already an accomplishment as for years I didn’t have the motivation to engage or find happiness in my life. Now I do, and I’m excited, proud, yet also terribly afraid.. But I know even if I fail, i’ll overcome it and learn from it.