J W

So I went to Beach Bum and did their $14.99 new member special (1 month unlimited in the lowest level beds) and have been tanning for 2 weeks. I gotta say I got a shade or 2 darker but why isn’t it that really nice tan? I don’t know if I’ll ever get it because my skins just a weird annoying white shade. SIGH

I feel like I’ve never been single. Sure there are those periods when I’m not someone’s girlfriend, but all my time is spent looking to be. Right now I’m crying because being around other people and other guys especially I just realize how bad I want to be single from my boyfriend of 14 months. Every question he asks me every kiss he pulls from me i just want it all to stop, I’m like sick of it all. I just told him this and we spent forever fighting about it. But we fought more over not fighting about it anymore because I don’t care which is the problem at hand. I just don’t care to care anymore. But if I lose him, if I lose that person to sleep with every night, that person to tell me they love me and be faithful to me, am I going to want it back? I really wish we could break up for 2 years and then get back together. It would be super ideal. I just want to live the single life for a bit; party it up, talk to people, be looked at, everything. I hate the way my life is sometimes I feel trapped and I feel like I’m not my own person.

I’m as white as they come… I’ve spent so much money going into tanning beds and going to the beach but I never stay tan.. or even get very tan to begin with. I think when I go back to school I’ll just splurge (if I even have money) and use the high-level beds at the tanning place and try to be dark and cripsy :)