I don’t have a lot of money and I find myself unfairly judging the people that seem to have it oozing out of them. They aren’t bad people for having more available to them. Also, having a shoe-string budget should allow me to embrace the zen policy of not using material goods as a means to happiness. Still, I do indulge in retail therapy; just at thrift shops. This is primarily why I find zen difficult to attain.
I have been taking a lot of sick days because of the anxiety causing nausea (and ralphing) and breathlessness. Also, I’m genuinely concerned I will lose my mind and start shaking soda bottles and spraying everyone then way I did in my dream last week. My workplace is already horribly dysfunctional, and this behavior wouldn’t help me.