Kagome3007

poke
taaaaaalking to youuuuuu…

in your sleeeeeeeep…

Cuz I’m totally deeeeeeaaaaaad…

Okay, I did it. I called him, a few hours after writing my last entry, and said, “I think… I need to break up with you.” And he said “If that’s how you feel.” If I’m remembering right, he asked why, and I told him that I stopped loving him. He said that he was kind of feeling the same way. I don’t know exactly what he meant by that, if he meant that he hadn’t been feeling for me anymore, or if he knew that I wasn’t feeling for him.
Ugh… I ended up using two phrases that I swore long, long ago I would never, ever use in a break-up; “It’s not you”, and “can we still be friends?”
Anyway, he’s just my friend now, and I’m feeling really guilty, but at the same time relieved and glad.

I don’t think any of my friends are on this site, but what if he is? He’ll definitely recognize my username… Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. takes a deep breath
No. I have to do this.

...

Okay, I really like my boyfriend. I’ve been with him for, I think… about a year and a half. I loved him. But now I don’t… I think. I’m not sure at all how I feel, but I don’t think I love him anymore. I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want him near me. It’s really odd. And the strangest thing is, it was an overnight change. Saturday night, we stayed up late watching TV, and he was holding me and it was so sweet, and I fell asleep in his arms. I woke up a few hours later, and we went off to our respective rooms (I to the guest room, he to his bedroom; I was at his house for the weekend.) The next morning, I tried to avoid standing too close because I knew he’d want to put his arm around me, or kiss me. I couldn’t handle that. It was really, really weird.
Though I don’t understand how the change could happen so quickly, I don’t love him anymore. I don’t have a reason, either! That’s what makes it so frustrating! I mean, of course, there are things about him that irk me. There’s things about every single person I meet that irk me. It’s not just him. But, see, the things about him that annoy me, aren’t bad enough, not even added up, to break up with someone for!
Maybe I didn’t just… stop loving him between Saturday night and Sunday morning… Maybe I haven’t for awhile, but just didn’t notice.
sigh I have to break up with him. I’m miserable because I don’t want to continue this. I can’t keep going like this.
I think I want to break up with him, and not have another boyfriend till I’m old enough to handle one…