Kamadaki

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be a better coach (read all 2 entries…)
indeed

i have been more available and helpful in my teaching. being there when they ‘need’ it matters so much more than just acting like you’re doing more. have to follow through and make sacrifices. which i have.



be a good brother (read all 4 entries…)
eh

she does her own thing. i see her when i can. i talk to her more now, and have even made progress in hanging out. going rafting in 2 weeks!



Learn Japanese (read all 3 entries…)
kanji

so i’ve gotten a cool app on my phone called king kanji that is helping me learn to write and memorize all the writing. it very helpful. there are about 200 lessons in all. i’m getting there…



find my soulmate (read all 11 entries…)
side note

so being all for this goal, i’ve always kept my eyes open. i find someone who seemed to fit the description, only to find out while i was playing for keeps, she was playing for fun. to put your all into someone that gives nothing back. and i’m a sucker for going along with it. thinking back, the one i thought was right for me actually was. i was treated the way i treated her. and that is easy to overlook when your inspecting other attributes. it has to be the most important part i feel. getting what you give. it is a two way street, love. and i’ve been going down the wrong way for 3 months! U TURN!!!



learn to play banjo (read all 4 entries…)
getting better

it sux that i’m better at guitar than banjo. i have to get the basics down and all i wanna do is play already. shoots.



Learn Japanese (read all 3 entries…)
so desu

this one is a lifetime goal. there’s no quick way about it.



find my soulmate (read all 11 entries…)
it's tricky

still with her. things are going very slow due to work and school schedules. not sure if it’s to be or is. just kinda sticking it out. after a year…i still get nervous. that’s gotta mean something.



learn tai chi long form (read all 2 entries…)
done

this was a great accomplishment. i’m glad i can check this off.



paint more (read all 3 entries…)
been busy

i’ve been painting off and on. mostly spray art. nothing too elaborate. sticking with it though



find my soulmate (read all 11 entries…)
unintentionally disconnected

it seems that i have hit a wall. find somebody, everything’s right, then they aren’t the person you thought they were. so much for having an open mind. i will not settle. even though it’s called settling down. that’s bullcrap. i could’ve been happy, but it would’ve just been a lie. and eventually caught up with me. so much for trying. i have now become an idle waste of space. i’m not looking anymore. that’s usually when things hit you. plus i’m too busy to be worried about someone else right now. and that is me finally being honest with myself. finally.



learn to play banjo (read all 4 entries…)
rockin'

i’ve been rockin’ the banjo. way fun. gotta keep at it.



find my soulmate (read all 11 entries…)
bummerrrrrr

i’ve given up. she’s not for me. a regular log in the mud. way beyond stick. i realized how much i do and want to do. still waiting apparantly.



find my soulmate (read all 11 entries…)
patience

so i’ve been very patient. she’s outta town, and i’m having an easy time trusting her. it’s amazing. i never thought it’d be so different than the last time. we’re still not as close as i “feel” we are, but i’m giving it time and praying. so far, she makes me happy just hearing from her. and that’s a new one on me. she seems to be warming up to me and that’s a good thing. i just wish it was more…



Read the Bible (read all 2 entries…)
getting there

i’m on numbers. slowly but surely. i’m letting it soak in this time.



be an honest person (read all 3 entries…)
why?

why does being honest come at such a high price? is it because anything good is worth hard work? so i was honest about my feelings, and was dashed to bits. ignored, led on, strung along for a fun ride. not again. i’m not ever doing it like that again. i feel like that’s a good start. a snob, uncaring, moderately racist, backwards in her thinking, an intricate fake. argh. i fell for it.
dammit. again!



find my soulmate (read all 11 entries…)
at least i'm consistant

so i did it again. she got back from her trip, and proceeded to not call me or anything for a week. i wanted to call but i didn’t. then i get a call another week later, and she wants me to watch her perform. so i go, i’m glued to my seat, all tense with anticipation. then i see her. my heart races, my palms get sweaty, and i can’t take my eyes off her. what’s going on? why do i feel this way about someone who doesn’t want me around? not a very warrented feeling. and because i don’t know what to say to her now, i’m not going to say anything. i feel like i’m being avoided. that’s what sux about mixed signals. i mix up regular ones, so i’m screwed. not literally. hahaha. so apparently i’m still looking. why?



find my soulmate (read all 11 entries…)
the dance

so i went to see her in the ballet. very nice. i could not take my eyes off her. i was leaning on the edge of my seat, focused so intensly that my eyes started to water from not blinking. and so it went. and so i watched. i was smiling, a true smile, because i was watching someone i care about doing something they love. it was a moment to remember. now i just have to get it again. i’m hooked on that feeling i had. how is it i can’t make her see how much i like her? i did drop everything i was doing to go see her, she knew that. i have been calling just to say hi. i cheer her on when she needs it. sometimes when she doesn’t. just to let her know i care. so it end up me splattering myself on the wall.



Save money (read all 2 entries…)
no way no how

i’m actually strapped now. that’s what happens when you buy your girl dinner more than once a week. and i’m a good cook, too. i’m just gonna start cooking. more. made icecream. but it costs 20 bucks to make and takes 4 hours. but it’s good. rocky road hommade ice cream make me happy if i’m sad. girls are in the know. only i don’t have to worry bout getting fat. alright!



be a good brother (read all 4 entries…)
dangit

my sister just doesn’t want to hang out with me. and i never see her. i did my part. i tried. maybe not my best, but she should’ve at least met me half way. shit.



be an honest person (read all 3 entries…)
not so well

i’m not being honest where i need to be, and need to be quiet in the other’s. i open my mouth in honesty, and i’m alone afterwards. nothing bad. no gossip or anything like that. no lies. just need to keep my mouth shut cause i’m a spazz and give out TMI. dammit.



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