LadyJowles

I’m sick today. Oh please let this be it! I dreamed of a little girl last night and woke up this morning feeling vaguely ill…queasy when I look upwards (which happens a lot when you’re as short as I am). Its a funny kind of illness – an almost comfortable nausea, as if a really fat cat was warmly squishing the heck out of my stomach. Now how am I to get any work done with my fingers crossed…

After many exhaustive discussions (on everything from physical changes, finances, homeschooling, religion, to where a crib would fit in our house) my husband and I have decided we’re ready to get pregnant! And after all this talk…I found myself approaching the bedroom giggling like a new bride.
Subtle things have changed with us. We both giggle more. We came up with silly code words so we can talk about babies secretly in public. All the everyday stuff seems so much more fun and purposeful… Why clean the tub? Because you wouldn’t put a baby in that dirty thing. Why go to the gym? Because we want a healthy child.

I never wanted to have kids. Until about 6 months ago. My husband and I were having a few beers and laughs at the local bar when suddenly I burst into tears and proclaimed that I wanted a baby! Alex was astonished to say the least…And you can follow that up swiftly with confused, bewildred and convinced I’d had one too many. The funny thing is, I was just as suprised!
The next day I was back to my old self. Alex and I tossed around a few jokes about biological clocks and life went back to normal. For about 3 months…then it hit me again. A great need to be with anything living and growing. My plants bloomed, my pets fell in love with me and I kept thinking that without a baby…I’d be missing Life with a capital L.