LailaHabibti

I see this all the time on my favorite show Supernatural. I’d never use this skill, but it looks cool to be able to do. I bet I’d feel like a ninja!

When I was 10 I was told that the man who raised me and who I had known to be my father was not my father, but a man who adopted me. I was told my biological father’s name and a few facts. Growing up I had always known I was different than my half brother and sisters. I didn’t look like anyone and always felt singled out. I was not sad when I was told, but in some ways relieved. I remember smiling.

6 Years passed and I decided to find him. I did a google search and found his email. Since that time I have met him and also visited him in my place of birth, Dallas, Texas. It’s amazing to look at him and see so many similarities. Looking at him is like looking in a mirror at myself.

However like most things in life it was not a fairy tale story. Him and his family didn’t mesh well with me. I know they dislike me greatly because of my religion. And even out of them all I only speak to my father because I couldn’t stand the insults directed at me due to me being a Muslim.

So its a difficult relationship, but I have learned a lot. I’ve learned more about myself and my background.

I didn’t always shape my brows. And in Islam I am not supposed to do that. So I am currently not plucking them and letting them be natural. It is difficult, but it is something that needs to be done for me to be closer to Allah.

I was wearing hijab all the time. But my situation made it unable to do so. I am currently waiting until next year where I will have the freedom to wear it all the time. Hijab is a gift from Allah and at times it can be a struggle, but it is so worth it.

I’d spread a blanket over warm Summer grass and lay out under the stars. The moon would shower my face in white light as my mind would admire the vastness of the sky. I would think about my place in this world, knowing I am a lonely star myself amongst millions on a dark canvas.

I’d like to keep a book and fill it with wisdom. I’d place in it’s pages quotes and thoughts that in the end will sum up the sweetness of my life.