Laptopman

contacting her again always stirs up the same feelings of resentment that led to our breakup. but even as so much time has passed I dont think these feelings of resentment are any less justified but maybe just cos I am still angry but I cant help how i feel. One thing I would like to remember as a lesson learned is not to fool myself into thinking what i want to believe, but what I know is true in my heart.

im a very active person which in so many ways is great, particularly in that I get lots done in my life. but sometimes the speed I go at things can be somewhat counter productive. I seem to live in a state of internal restlessness. In my life there is no such thing as a lie in, Im up as soon as i open my eyes and am almost pissed of with myself for sleeping at all, there are so many things that I look forward to doing in any one day, but when they all run through my mind I try to do them all at once and must surely ressemble a headless chicken running about from one thing to another. This coupled with my lack of sleep means I dont enjoy things as much as i could and seem to be never at peace with myself.

have to say though that whilst im complaining this ‘personality trait’ is to me an overall positive, and means that when i eventually get old and slow down and find peace I will have a action packed, no regrets life to reflect on. Just think though that I would like to cut out all of the counterproductive shit, and perhaps strike a more pragmatic balance between speed and sense.

This entry represents my mental note to SLOW DOWN

In times of my insecurities i need to find the courage to look people in the eye and continue my daily life instead of giving up and breaking down.