Laurabelle

This is a bit of a rant and I do apologise and most of it probably sounds silly to the many of you who are struggling with real problems, I just feel I need somewhere to let off some steam.
I go through phases when I’m absolutely fine, or at least I think I am, swfitly followed by phases when I am most definitely not. These ‘down’ phases seem to be when I have little to do for long periods of time and this is one such instance.
It’s my last proper summer holiday, between school and uni and I have been told it’s supposed to be the most liberated time of your whole life. All of my friends are off on holidays or at least doing fun things but I’m sat at home because it’s raining. Again. Not that I could go out anyway because I have to work full time since my loan won’t even cover my accomodation costs next year, never mind actually living. And that is if I even get into uni, when I know I have totally screwed up my exams.
I have a lot of issues with my freinds, mainly that they are a particularly privilaged group of people who are totaly ignorant of the real world. Not a single one of them has a job and they don’t appreciate that I can’t just ‘tell them I can’t come in’ and that I lose money if I don’t take shifts. They don’t understand that I can’t afford to do everything and have everything that they have and they are deeply unsympathetic. I hate always having to bring up the subject of a budget, it just seems to rule my life.
I am definitely one of the largest of my friends too and food has been a bit of an issue over the past few years… but that’s a different story really.
The only one of my friends who I feel remotely close to is this guy whom I have huge affection for, though he shows little in return, constantly blowing me off and clearly preferring the company of other girls and I just can not seem to let it go. It’s not easy to forget about how lonely I am when my sister (model, straight A student, oxbridge candidate, thinner, taller, prettier) parades her loving boyfriend around in front of me all the time.
They are just silly things but it seems like there are lots of them all piling up and its really getting to me again after I have managed to be happy for so long. I really don’t want to get bak to how low I was before when I could barely be bothered to get out of bed, but I just don’t know what to do. Thank you to anyone who bothers to read this far x

I just can’t decide where to go to uni. My options are one very prestigeous place which would give me great career prospects but I don’t actually like it there, a lesser university thats really good for my course and quite fun but I feel drawn to it because this guy that I love is there but he treats me like dirt and doesn’t actually like me, or a uni that isn’t as good for my course but is better overall and a nicer city. Help? It’s such a life changing decision.

Hitting the Big Apple a week on Monday, can’t wait!!