Lavone

Yesterday I did the Boot Camp section of the Biggest Loser DVD which is 20 minutes. It’s a very intense combo of cardio and strength training in that small amount of time. After that I got on the treadmill for 30 minutes and I was so proud for pushing myself. Usually I try to avoid running, but I ran yesterday and felt amazing. That included raising the incline quite high. Last, I did some stretches that incorporate yoga. The whole thing was refreshing. There’s no turning back now.

I fuckin’ wish. I really do. It’s like I can’t let go of anything. It can be something recent or something from years and years ago that torment me. It’s hurtful things people have done or said, it’s things I wish I did or didn’t do. I’m so sick of these thoughts, but yet I can’t let go.

I hate being so dependant on someone driving me around, but it’s like I can’t break the habit. I need to or I’ll keep feeling like a total loser everytime someone reminds me I don’t have a license and everytime I have to wait on someone to pick me up. Oh and it’s so embarrassing not knowing my fucking directions. I don’t pay attention. If I actually drove I’d be forced to learn how to get where I’m going which would be a good thing.