15 minutes, that’s all that I want. 15 minutes to myself to make a start. To do something just for me. To write, but to write what? I’ve just been watching a drama over lunch, just 15 minutes of it as it happens, and the narrator said something that struck a chord.
“We are not one person but a collection”. Over our lifetime we are many ever changing people that morph from one to another. I am now in my 40s and see myself as very different from that painfully shy child growing up. Different again from that 20 something setting out in the world to be her own person, yet terrified of drawing attention, of being asked to speak.
And now? A 40 something, happy in her own skin, albeit a little looser than before children, but happy none the less. It’s funny how priorities change. Growing up I never saw myself as married, or with children come to that. I was going to be a Singleton (to borrow an expression), I was going to be a professional person, own home own car, and maybe a cat.
But life goes on, events happen and expectations change. Relationships develop unexpectedly and plans go into a state of flux waiting for others to have their say and make decisions. A new future evolves and you think yes, this is what I want, and you soldier on, time racing by, each year pretty much like the last, trying to reach that apparently unobtainable goal.
Then life turns upside down. You think it’s never going to happen so you blow your savings on what ‘someone your age’ is supposed to want or to have done. Having made that commitment life turns right way up, (or should that be upside down again), and you find that what you wanted so desperately is finally going to happen.
Life is a perpetual cycle of evolving and ever changing goals and expectations. We do not stay the same. No one can consciously change us, but what happens to us does affect us. How we choose to respond to life is what changes us. There is a lot to be said for that famous quote, “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” For indeed it does. We can cope with anything as long as we keep believing we can. Hope is a powerful life changing thing, don’t ever let go of it, nurture it and it will sustain you .