I started to wonder if this is something that I can actually do on my own. That consuming panic and an enormous self-awareness while doing practically anything in front of people. It’s exhausting. I can never really explain it.
I met a boy on St. Patrick’s day who’s actions are totally free of any anxieties. We are on the same wave length, but I’m just much more introverted person. After spending just those few hours with him, I lost all my anxieties for the next few days. It was a strange experience. I didn’t see him for 10 days now so I started to get back to my ‘usual’ state, but I believe that his unexplainable love for people and life kind of… cured my problems.