Leungzt

Damn, that I have failed to my friends.

I’m not empathic enough. I haven’t standed for them. I haven’t took good care of them. I have upseted them.

I HATE WHAT I DID!!!
And that is going no more.

They cared of me for so long that I took them as granted. I feel really bad for not being a good friend. I really want to be someone for them. Someone that they can count on.

I will be strong enough to care them and protect them.
Gotta improve greatly my inner selve.

I’m like that, way too passive. I want to be respected, treated as an equal, I want to be someone.

I don’t want to be pushed again.
I don’t want to loose to myself again.
I don’t want to fear rejection again.

But one of the things that I really want is to “Stand up for myself”.

Oh man! This is getting tough. Life is kicking hard and I’m getting more depressed day by day (But still not enough to default my gym).

I just started to fight back to regain my dignity. But fears of rejection, fears of trouble, almost any fear that had to do with society is again trying to catch me. I hate to loose. I don’t want to loose again.

The way to BE A MAN is ridiculously tough. Be able to stand against anything need hell lot of courage (what I lack) and to begin with, I’m weak!

But telling the truth and being critic to myself. Things aren’t that bad. One or two problem is normal in this life. I just need to overcome them and I’ll be one more step to BE A MAN.

Right now I’m loosing the battle against my fears. But this is not the end. I’m still improving and in the near future I’ll be able to stand proud of all the fears that I overcame.

I almost lost to myself again. But not now, the war against myself hasn’t ended. And there is only one thing to do: “KEEP THE HEAD UP AND GO FORWARD!”