S a r a h

I’ve always been a bit prone to the melancholy, but that doesn’t mean I hate depression any less. In the past when I felt a “bout” coming on, I’d wallow in it or pursue some form of self-destruction to distract myself. Obviously this was a bit counter-productive. So, as I feel this wave growing, I’m choosing to be pro-active in attacking this beast, and am taking baby steps away from things that add to the problem and walking towards the goal of being a bit more considerate of myself.
I’m pursuing this whole-heartedly for six weeks, starting last week. If at the end of the six weeks I don’t see a significant improvement in my state of mind, I’ll then look into the option of medication. I’ve never had a good experience with anti-depressants, and I’d much prefer not to numb myself, but I’ll do what it takes.
Each week I plan on having three goals to focus on, adding to the list each week. Last week, my first week, was pretty basic: 1)don’t drink, 2)don’t smoke, and 3)get out of bed at some point each day (how pitiful).
I did well, even getting out of bed before noon, and for the most part staying out of bed for the whole day. This week my goals are: 1)cut back on sodas and sweets to 2 servings a week, 2)exercise at least 15 minutes each day, and 3)journal every day. A little more challenging, but I can already feel myself coming out of my cave and feeling slightly less mopey. We’ll see how this week goes.

I fall off the wagon on this quite a bit. I’d like to give up smoking altogether, but there are some moments when nothing is more satisfying than drinking a stout beer or a strong cup of coffee with a cigarette in hand. But I think not going cold turkey makes it harder for me in the end. Whatever…so far it’s been over a week since I had a cigarette, and I’m hangin’ in there like a champ.

And I finished Eat, Pray, Love , and am almost done with Middlesex. One book I forgot to put on my “finished” list: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. So, if I just finish Middlesex by the end of this month, then I’ll still be up-to-date, technically, on my book a month thing.