LiveLife7




I'm doing 24 things
 

LiveLife7's Life List

  1. 1. grow closer to God
    1 entry . 4 cheers
    116 people
  2. 2. do missions work
    19 people
  3. 3. travel the world
    1 entry . 1 cheer
    17,824 people
  4. 4. learn to dance
    1 entry
    6,250 people
  5. 5. stop thinking so much
    1 entry
    221 people
  6. 6. be smashingly interesting
    4 cheers
    105 people
  7. 7. Stop being a spaz
    2 entries
    4 people
  8. 8. have no fear
    1 entry . 3 cheers
    85 people
  9. 9. leave my city once a month, leave my country once a year
    2 cheers
    504 people
  10. 10. Live in the present
    1 entry . 1 cheer
    304 people
  11. 11. make a difference in the world
    2 cheers
    881 people
  12. 12. Learn another language
    3,582 people
  13. 13. Be honest with myself
    219 people
  14. 14. learn to cook
    7,836 people
  15. 15. be fearless
    517 people
  16. 16. work out
    457 people
  17. 17. pay off my car
    528 people
  18. 18. never settle for anything less than I deserve
    426 people
  19. 19. just do it
    1 cheer
    116 people
  20. 20. learn to scuba dive
    2,507 people
  21. 21. start my own business
    8,290 people
  22. 22. depend on myself
    20 people
  23. 23. stop being self absorbed
    2 people
  24. 24. stop
    1 entry
    85 people

How I did it
How to get over him
It took me
6 months
It made me
feel awesome!


Recent entries
stop
Stop wasting my time with people who are unworthy of my love. 1 month ago

It hurts too much to continue on this path of unhappiness. This path of predictability of my relationships that are doomed to fail. Will my fairy tale ever come true? Possibly, yes. It will be better than a fairy tale, but it’s up to me to make it happen. I have to stop doing the things that are harming me. These guys all have the same traits in common. Starting with my father. I am not enough for them, but at the same time, I am too much. I am too much, yet not enough to be deserving of their love. Not funny enough, not sexually enough, not spontaneous enough. Not caring enough, not nice enough, not strong enough. Too verbal, too emotional, too opinionated, too independent, too anxious, too clingy, too dependent. Too smart, too pretty, too good, too crazy, too strong, too bitchy, too annoying. I have been told all of these things, not always with words, but sometimes with them, yes. Contradicting, yes! Who am I? What they say I am or who I know I am? I lose myself in them. They tease me. With their words, I am their everything. But their actions cannot follow through. It hurts my heart deeply. I give my life for them. I give my love, my life, my body, my time, my energy, my soul, my everything, my all, if only they will see and give me a piece of their heart. It never happens. I am angry. I am mad and hurt and bitter inside. I give my everything. I gave my everything. My soul has been torn apart for love. For a taste. For counterfeit moments. Moments of deceit that seem like peace, but cause a hurricane inside of my heart and soul and mind because I know the truth. I sense the truth. It’s all pretend. If only I could grasp something real. If I could grasp that there is someone that loves me, just because. And to hold on to that truth because I know how weak I am without true love. I am capable of destroying myself in search of it. I have no strength or courage to be alone without a sense of love. A hope of love. Lord, is this a re-run? Or is this my moment of freedom? Is this another fake breakthrough? Or is this going to be peace and clarity of myself for once in my life? Am I going to learn to love myself enough to stop giving myself to bad people? Am I going to sense your love so deeply that I can move on from my destructive behaviors of myself?



Stop being so nice (read all 2 entries…)
Untitled 11 months ago

LOL I look down at my “things i’ve done” list and it says “be nicer” which i guess i accomplished earlier…funny stuff



have no fear
Untitled 11 months ago

I am sick of being afraid of this life. What is so scary? What is holding me back? Where are these irrational fears coming from? After realizing that 95% of my life is ALWAYS great, why am I so afraid that everything is going to end up so awful? I am SICK of fear, maybe it’ll leave me alone now that I’m willing to stand up to it and tell it to LEAVE ME ALONE! Most of not living I blame on anxiety or hypoglecemia, which is true, I guess, but I’m sick of that, too! I am so over it!! I want to live and have fun and enjoy life!



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