LlunaBlue

Why is it that the drive to do something with yourself occurs when you’ve gotta wade through all the day’s shit…?

Once you’re done wading, you’ve gotta prepare for tomorrow.

I need to get out somehow.

I’ve worked with a mandala before; I know that I see electric blue in the upper-left and an almost void-like green in the bottom-right. It’s been a while, however, and I’ll need to work upon my concentration again as soon as I find myself in an enviroment I can continue practicing.

In the same vein, I occasionally notice “aura-like” colours around people, but at the same time I question them.

Are they simply images being burned into my eyes and then remaining there when I move?

I aim to someday be able to not only “see” them, but percieve them and distinguish between trickery and the real thing.

‘Tis all I need so I may begin to live the life I can see myself most happy living.

An astral dweller ‘tis the life for me!

I’ve just been told to “get a life” by some prick outside (I’m in the library) and that kind of uncalled-for, awful behaviour REALLY gets me thinking sometimes.

Like, how is it possible some people can exist only to spread hate?

How can it be possible that people are so fucked in the head that the only thing they know how to do is be harsh and unfair to others?

I’m becoming more and more faithful in the belief of spirits, in that we’re in these bodies for now but will travel, will leave and enter others or perhaps go elsewhere. But the one thing I don’t understand is the existence of cruel people. I simply cannot imagine them having a spirit. A spirit is a being of enlightenment, a being of knowledge and love. Some people I can’t ever see having a part of them like that.

It’s a dangerous notion for me to think of or to belief. That’s not too many steps off of believeing in “devils.” Or believing that some people just aren’t real. What’d be next? I’d kill them because I’m not, in fact, harming anybody…?

As soon as my life becomes a constant, whereby I’m free to go by my own actions, I’m going to be putting in the effort to become as much a spiritual person as I can. Maybe I’ll get a little something out of it; it’s the most accessible canvas I have and I intend to unlock it.

For now, though… the grind of work and the negative feelings that generally accompany them.

...Learn to spell.

After a long, long weekend of driving, driving alone and with little other stimulation I happened to find myself thinking.

Yeah, quite a dangerous thing for me to do…

Anyways, with the views that you get from the motorway I kept on thinking about how there is a LOT of beauty in the world… except it’s marred by other things. Like a lovely view on a car-filled, tarmac ‘n’ smelly motorway… or a tiger in a cage.

I can barely imagine where anything of true beauty with no distractions is. Perhaps this more than any should be a reason to connect to the astral plane…?

Created a Facebook account. I’d be happy to talk on there, also! This is mostly a means to find people nearby but any and all people wanting to talk are welcome.

I know a couple of you know my alternative nickname and/or my real name; I’d appreciate it if any links to either of those were left out when taking to me on there.

I’m playing with kids, which makes me childish and brattish… and my points are clouded behind anger and a distinct lack of hope. Perhaps because there is no hope or because I’ve little faith in the wannabes finding their way here.

Run away, wannabes… brood ‘n’ wait until you’re able to get the heck away from other people before you even begin to attempt any kind of transformation.

I think I need somebody. I think the world would be a better place if I could find somebody right for me…

Part of any werewolf’s balanced diet ; )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/mooncakes

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

Nobody on here has the right to think of themselves as an outcast.

You have access to the Internet; you’re not an outcast. Stop thinking that somehow you’re far more special and secluded than all others simply because you’ve had far more thinking time than dicking-around time. You sit in the corner forumlating opinions while everybody else is kicking a ball.

Things influence those who are highly receptive.

Specialty is not a status. Wanting to be a werewolf does not make the universe revolve around you. It is not revolutionary and it is not normal conversation.

You cannot run around telling people what you want to be, at least not lightly. You cannot expect others to follow your pseudo-aspergian train of thought.

Frankly I think those who consider themselves an outcast should answer to me. I’m a lot like you when you’re 7 years older. The sooner you realise you’re going to have to fit in, the easier it’ll be to shake yourself out of your esoteric way of thinking.

I’m heavily influenced by particular things. Particular… depictions of things.

I want to be like Luna. Her image is the most beautiful thing that I know, and it affects me. I want to be a female werewolf because then my life would be beautiful.

So much flawed thinking and false hopes, but I hope people see the basis of “why.”

Heck, maybe I’m special. Maybe I do have the capabilities to be beautiful… even if I did; at what cost?

...We’re prepared to pay such costs for this power or beauty or escape, and I’m beginning to feel sick as to just what this cost could possibly be. Thanks to some stupid, stupid choices in my life I have some idea of compromising myself. Compromising… sanity. True insanity is a swirling, sickening, nausious, disgusting darkness where the only light is painful to the sinuses. I’ve but a glimpse, but with that glimpse came a sense of just how menacing some things can be.

If you think you can give up everything you have for the gift of becoming a werewolf, well… you’re just as naive as I am. I choose, for the time being, to sit on this dull green grass.

...I eventually have to give up.

I’ve been sitting at the computer rubbing the stubble on my face for ages. Now it tingles. I must be, like, p-shifting or something!

I have the power to give people what they want. All I need to do is suggest it.

I tell them what they think and they think it

I tell them what they feel and they feel it.

I tell them what they are and they become it.

I can describe fantastic changes, the nails becoming claws, the growing fur, the sharpening teeth and the heightening senses. I can give so very many little details of WHAT you feel WHERE.

Any doubt you have is shunned by the hope that what I say is true.

I can control you, “Brothers,” I just choose not to.

Blindly follow those who offer these gifts if you want, it bears no impact upon me, just ask yourself where the evidence is and how stupid you are.

Am I the only one on here who’s beginning to think this is all one big problem?

One big psychological mess of the head…?

Everybody I talk to I end up drifting from or I altogether shun. Everything I see myself being I just… don’t see happening. So little is stationary in this life right now and so little is quiet. I can’t imagine it ever being quiet enough for me. I can’t think nor be anything except a f*ck-up. A stain.

I fear I’m going insane. I fear it’s incurable… and the only thing I can get myself to do is spill my brains onto this website.

So… here you go. Read and for God’s sake don’t pity me.

llunabluewolf: And then there’s lycanthropy

llunabluewolf: Which seems to enjoy wrapping its thighs across my face until I don’t know where I nor they are, or whether I’m enjoying or dying from it

Lupusphasmatis: thats one hell of an analogy

llunabluewolf: Yeah

llunabluewolf: I think it needs framing.

Lupusphasmatis: put that on a t-shirt

I’m sure Spiritual_Wolf would be interested in this!

I’ve a VERy extensive knowledge of artwork depicting transformations of (mostly) humans into werewolves, animals, anthropomorphic beings, etc… if anybody comes across a picture and want to know more information regarding the artist, where it can be found on the internet or requesting similar pictures I’m more than happy to help. Either Email me or post it on here; then I’d be able to get back to you immediately.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’m fairly peeved at how light the situation is taken by some on here… but it’s not so bad anymore. I’m not here to help, now, until I’m actually able to.

There’s a song I’ve found that allows me to feel some connection to Lluna. Like a song between both of us; a dance, a beautiful empathy we share. I’ve howled for her to the melody and I will howl again. I’ve cried because of its beauty. There’s true spirit within these notes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m54SmVsQqgc

I hope others can get closer to their spirit guides through this beauty.