LoiP15

I feel a lot better today about my body image. I’ve been wearing clothes I like.
Key #1: Wear clothes you like.

How does one accomplish this goal? I don’t get it. No one on here seems to know.
I suppose I’ll try affirmations and a healthy diet (I do plan to eat more fruits and veggies).
I’ll report later on any progress.

I read a huge chunk of my current book The Case for Faith today. I think I may return to Christianity.
Anyways, I plan to check out another book tomorrow. I love this goal. I actually have something to do now. ^^

I was doing really well and then I went to my Dad’s. I forgot to bring some of my stuff so I didn’t do it. v_v Ah well, I’ll finish it tomorrow.

I decided to re-open this goal. I think I need more hobbies and passions to keep myself entertained and enjoying life.

I procrastinate when I feel inadequate, depressed, bored, tired and hungry.
I procrastinate when I feel inadequate because I decide “I’m so bad what’s the point”, I may as well not even try.
I procrastinate when I feel depressed because I hope that will drive it away. This does seem to work.
I procrastinate when I’m bored because I feel I am bored and so homework wouldn’t help.
When I am tired I only want to sleep and relax rather than do homework.
I procrastinate when I am hungry because I just want to push it off.
I suppose most of my procrastination comes from desperation. I suck so hard what’s the point of trying? It won’t make a difference. I suppose my want to procrastinate comes from depression. This could be an appropriate response.
Why am I depressed though? I suppose I constantly feel inadequate. The root answer to my procrastination is to stop feeling inadequate.
Inadequacy
Feelings: Fat, ugly, disgusting, unlikeable, impotent.
Cause: I feel fat and ugly when I wear baggy clothes (most of my stuff). I feel disgusting when I don’t take care of myself. I feel unlikeable when I see other people who appear to have more friends than me. I feel impotent when I procrastinate.
Responses: I tend to respond by procrastination. There does not appear to be much I can do about clothes. My Mom won’t wash my clothes more often. This makes me feel angry. I could work on my people skills. If I do work I feel better about being impotent.

Breakfast: Coffee and milky way
Dinner: Water, chili and a burrito

Had only 7 portions yesterday. Skipping lunch helps bunches.

Didn’t get anything done yesterday, too depressed. I plan to find out the root causes of my procrastination. I’ll write about my findings later.

I’m not going to focus so much on this right now. I’m working on my eat less goal but I will come back to this and I’ll probably still write the occasional entry while I’m waiting.

Along with drinking water I will also not eat lunch or snacks. That generally seems to accomplish it. I may limit my breakfast to 2 portions but not eating lunch should do it.
I’ll eat dinner late (preferably after finishing my homework) so that I can fall asleep afterwards

Kinda hard considering 43 things but I think I can do it. :P I’m going to try using the 12 steps. I’ll write more about it later.

I’m not sure what I want to write about in my journal. I’m considering a Topic Du Jour idea I read about (write 2-3 sentence entries about many different subjects) or having a log where I write about my Taoist related ideas. I suppose I could combine the 2 but still…

I want to get to a point where I finish all my school assignment and the meat of my studying at least a full day before the test or due date.
Here’s How I’m Doing so Far:
Urgent Tests:
Biology
Social Studies
German
Wednsday Test:
Literary Elements
Urgent Homework:
German Homework
Tuesday Homework:
Math
Read Chapter 6 of my computer book.
I plan to finish my urgent and Tuesday homework today. I will study a bit more for my German though I am pretty well prepared. Unfortunately, due to lack of study materials I will have to do some of my studying for my Biology test tomorrow and all of my social studies studying.
For those who cringed upon reading that last paragraph (like anyone’s reading this, rolls eyes ) I do this all the time. I still score high marks, I’m just sick of the stress.
I may highlight my English studying material (I know a lot of people say highlighting is just another form of procrastinating but I know from firsthand experience that it is a lifesaver for me.

K, so I ate 10 portions yesterday. My plan is to set some other goals with this to distract myself from it. That might help.

Ate 8 servings yesterday. Ate 8 1/2 today.
I think I’ll stop at 8 servings and focus more on burning calories. The way I see it is if you want to lose weight it’s easier to do it by burning calories and consuming less.
I plan to continue with my exercise goal and to get a new goal to drink more water. I hear that not only does drinking water speed your metabolism but that drinking the recommended amount (8 cups) burns 100 calories.
I also want to eat more natural foods, I hear that helps you burn more calories during digestion. It also just feels better.

Didn’t exercise today, not feeling well.

Whee, hit 8 yesterday. May hit 7 today because my throat is sore. v_v I just want to finish this goal and get on with more worthwhile stuff.
I’ll drink more water tomorrow. It’ll help with my sore throat and with this goal.
My plan is to hopefully hit 6 portions tomorrow. If I do this, I’ll go for another 2 days with this goal. I’m a subscriber of the 3 day hump. If I can make it over 3 days I should be able to keep this habit with few relapses. If this works I’ll be done by Monday. If I do ever fall back into old habits I’ll pick up this goal again.
My next goal will probably be to not procrastinate on my school work. I’ve fallen into a bad habit of doing everything last minute.

I’ve had trouble getting under 11 these past few days. Luckily today, I’ve had 6 portions. If I only have 1 portion of soup and 1 of salad tonight (with some water of course) I’ll finally hit 8 and I’ll be able to move on to 7. I really want to finish this so I can move on to not procrastinating on my school work.
How can you tell if you’ve truly made a new habit?

Ate 10 portions today. Had a relapse earlier but I’m doing better. I’m just going to keep going at this until I hit 8.