LonelySorceress

I had a slight relapse last weekend, but on the whole I think I’m getting better….by that I mean I haven’t cut myself since then, and I’m slowly losing the urge to do it too. =)

I find that if I have enough sugar in my system that I am too hyper to feel down or ‘dark’ but I’ll end up giving myself diabetes if I’m not careful. Can you get high on anything else that’s legal? I really need to find something.

But I really think I’m doing better. My aim is to be done or as close to being stopped with all this by my birthday which is the end of March. I’m really starting to think I might be able to make it!!

....I sort of forgot that I wasn’t eating chocolate and ate a Cadbury’s Cream Egg. Then I sort of remembered. That was last week though, and I haven’t eaten any since!!

I really wanted some today, but I fought the impulse down. I’m still sitting here thinking that something’s missing (chocolate), even my usual method of avoiding thinking of chocolate isn’t working today. I might just give in slightly and drink hot chocolate before I go to bed. I can do that right? Giving something up in increments is better for you than stopping completely right away, so I reckon hot chocolate isn’t so bad.

....moving to a new room is not the best way to become more organised. Although I do now have less space in which to make a mess, so perhaps I will have more success.

Right now however, my laptop is on my chair because I have no room on my desk for it, every night I shift stuff off the bed onto the floor and every morning it moves back, I have no idea any more what’s laundry and what’s clean, I can’t find the strawberry jam I bought at 4 this afternoon….IT’S A FRIGGIN’ NIGHTMARE!!!!

I’m rather demoralised by it all to be honest, but I’m feeling ready to attack it!