LoveTheLifeYouLive

Too much useless crap at my house. Enough said.

You know those stories where someone goes through some awful humilating breakup only to move on an find out the person they were born to fall in love with was within arms reach the enitire time. Well, thats my story. Kind of like the movie Hope Floats, minus the whole talk show scene, thank God. Plenty of drama though, my hubby was a fireman and the girl he had an affair with was a police officer. Thats big news in a small town. Anyway, it turns out that Mr.Wrong is actually my link to Mr. Right. My now ex husband introduced us 10 years ago and until about a year ago Mr. Right and I were little more than aquaintences. He is amazing. And the timing was perfect. I had been on my own long enough to feel really confident and had come to terms with the idea that i might not ever get married again. I was kicking butt at being single and loving it. He had really gotten his stuff together as well and was finally finishing college and was ready to tackel his career. Then we reconnected and really hit it off, despite my efforts to sabatoge things and only half invite him places. I made him earn it and for some reason he even loved that about me. Now, he wants to mary me and I can feel myself freaking out. Why, why must I be a spaz? I love that he loves me and i really do love him. The documentation scares me. I have to get over this fear!

Well, I have worked really hard and gotten into shape over the past year, but have recently been putting a lot of thought into my priorities. Personally, i feel like the least i can do for God and myself is to put the same amount of time and disipline into being spiritually fit as well. Its a lot easier to want to be pretty then it is to want to be knowledgeable and at peace with where i stand with God. I think I need to put more time into the parts of me that people cant see when they look at me. It will be interesting to see what other changes this inspires.