Life is back to normal and yet absolutely changed forever. The bright sides continue to surface in strange and unexpected ways, and I am awed by the body’s ability to heal and teach us about ourselves. When I was lost in the world of ‘what do I want’ it brought me back to the beauty of the present.
I continue to feel so blessed.
-in May of 2008 to remove a Cavernoma from my right temporal lobe. If anyone has questions about what recovery from a Craniotomy is like, I’d be happy to answer them.
I find it so much easier to do this during the spring and summer when there are tasty fruits and vegetables from my region. winter is a long slog of darkness and rain already, so the limited fresh fruit starts to weigh on me. i need to start canning or drying or freezing during the summer months to keep myself happy in the winter.
there is so much beauty and grace and wonder in my life and it just seems to multiply as i become aware of all the little nuances that make my experience on this earth so beautiful.
a bright side to brain surgery i am considering today…
...i am so blessed to know and be supported by the people in my life, who are looking out for me and fighting for me when i can’t do it for myself. and i didn’t know or believe this fully before this whole experience, so understanding this gift is a HUGE bright side to brain surgery
. . .because i don’t take any action towards making it happen, but i truly believe someday i will be in the right circumstances to witness this.
...lovely narcotic induced naps in the morning and afternoon with crazy dreams spilling out in every which way
...understanding and feeling on a daily basis the depth and sincerity of my relationships in this world
...surprising all the people who assumed i would be cancer patient bald with my lovely full head of hair
...narcotic induced nausea+questionable hospital food=i now fit into my skinny jeans
...after 6 weeks of no work, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no caffeine, i feel like i have a fresh start. and it’s a reminder that i always control the choices that i make in this life, even when i choose to believe otherwise. everyday can be a fresh start, i shouldn’t have needed brain surgery to understand that i hold to the key to everything i want.
......as i write down just a very few of the bright sides of brain surgery, i find myself wondering if i would change what i have gone through if i could and it seems unthinkable. i feel so in control of what my life is and how i choose to move forward, it feels like such a gift that arisen from this whole experience.
and here i thought this post was going to be funny.
It is coming together. These are the 4 inch squares laid out on my kitchen floor.
At this point I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the looming process of organizing and piecing all my carefully sewn and cut squares together, but I’m powering through.
P.S.- I got a letter from my grandmother today that said “you’re quilting? it sure can be tedious”. So much for re-claiming a family past time.
My quilting adventure is coming together. These are strips and squares I will sew with red pieces for an accent color.
I have been collecting fabric for a while now and it’s time to get started for real. I haven’t sewn anything since high school and have never quilted before, but am excited to try something new.
I spent four days driving down the coast, 2 days in the city, and 2 days driving back on I-5, and it was a fantastic adventure. I could have spent the whole week just on the drive down the coastline was so beautiful and varied, but doing it in 4 days just means there is more to explore for next time. I especially enjoyed highway 1 in California between Leggett and just North of San Francisco- absolutely gorgeous countryside with windy roads that were a blast to drive.
I have pretty much mapped out my route and am now researching where I will want to stop along the way to see beaches and other attractions. There is definitely an element of wait and see though- who knows what I might run into and where the road might take me?! It’s a good lesson in letting go a little of the planning and looking forward to some mystery and adventure. I can’t wait.
I’ve been taking fish oil for 4 days now and am mostly just trying to make a habit of taking it with meals. I am pleasantly surprised that I am not having any fishy taste from the gelcaps or from burps afterwards which I have heard from other people.
and forget to drink water during the day. I need to make a conscious effort to drink water regularly until it’s a habit. I have already cut out soda, now I want to drink more water to keep myself healthier.
While living in Boston for college, I was enchanted by Copp’s Hill Cemetery in the North End. Someday, I will be back!
I’d like to drive the whole coast of the US, but I’ll have to start with the coast from Seattle to San Francisco. I’m planning on driving there and back solo in a week- ROADTRIP with OSCAR!
. . . and life with Oscar is better than ever. It’s an amazing thing to make a dream come true for yourself and have a physical manifestation of that dream to look at (and ride in) every day! Sometimes I am still amazed at what I am capable of. Cheers to anyone considering making their own dream come true!
...he’s changed my life! He’s taught me to take one day at a time (and preferably that day finds me on the highway); he’s taught me that realizing goals is more about deciding to make it happen than spending years carefully planning; and he’s taught me that I can make my own dreams come true. Keetchy perhaps, but true all the same.
