Luxurious

I used to rely on my mom SOOOO much in my life. I still kind of am. My grandmother just recently passed away and she was the one who did EVERYTHING for me. My mom was just “there”. Now that she(my grandmother) is gone, it is hard for me to cope. I have gained a TRUMENDOUS amount of confidence over the past year and I believe I am doing very well. I am being more assertive and agressive. I am starting to realize and KNOW who I am. I am starting to accept myself for who I am and learn to love that person. But for some reason I feel like I am not quite there. I am still asking her to make calls for me because I am “under 18” lol. I’m 17 :p I just need to let go of all of my fears and stop being so nervous about everything. If I trust in God and have faith I know I can do it.

Since my grandmother passed away, I have completely dedicated myself to A&T State University. They have one of the biggest college marching bands in the world. It would be a MIRACLE if I actually got in. I have been practicing my flute for a few days now. I thought I had lost my touch but I realized I really didn’t. I know I have the potential and I know I am capable of doing it. What I am really nervous about is the training and the hard work and the discipline. I mean they don’t cut you ANY slack. One of the good things about it is that I will be meeting new and interesting people that share a common musical interest like me. I could possibly also be traveling the world! I am going to keep practicing, HARD. I am going to be super confident on the day that I will schedule to try out.

My last few tests didn’t turn out so well…So I am really trying to make an effort. My grandmother paid for this class right before she passed away and I really don’t want to let her down. I have a C right now in the class but I HAVE to make sure I make an A. I have not been turing in ALL of my assignments or my homework…I am slipping back into a mode I should not be slippin in but it can be really hard sometimes to stay consistant. I am just going to keep praying that I can get myself together. My mom said I need to atleast make a B, but I really want to do well and make an A. I am going to have faith in myself.