I’m tired of thinking about this buuuut yesterday I came home feeling upset about a whole bunch of things and The Guy was one of them. I realized this was really, really stupid for a few reasons:
1. In mid-April I clearly remember lying in bed one night thinking, uhhhhhh do I actually want this? Not really!
2. There are guys I like. There are guys that like me. I really like guys that like me. (But not in real way, you know?) Maybe I could say that I didn’t like him as much as I felt (and how reliable are feelings, and how accurate is me saying that now?)
3. I am NOT going to give the time of day to someone with a mental disorder they don’t have under control, nor someone who acts like a beaten puppy. These are HUGE reasons to totally forget about him!
4. Things felt off, or at least when I think back there is a small nagging feeling. (Is there a part of me that’s TOTALLY okay and maybe a little relieved that this is over?)
I had to decided to be over it. Because I can feel sad and mourn my losses for months and months, I really could. But I found out enough of what’s going on to have the closure I need, that was five days ago. I had my time of intense “what the hell is going on” (last part of April). I had my time of readjustment (the past three weeks). And really, it was 2 1/2 months, I decided to get over it almost 3 weeks ago. It shouldn’t take me longer than that.
So today. I have my way of getting over things. It includes: emotional eating (bad yet effective), Kelly Clarkson and Pink other good songs from whoever, eyeliner (and lots of it), cleaning my room, and deep conditioning my hair. And time does fix things. He hasn’t been around long enough for him to be more memory than real person.
I’m still a little sad and whatever, but this is not the worst outcome by far. I’m fine with never ever talking to him again.