Mada

This is it, my biggest goal. All my life I’ve been that girl that blended easily into the background. I existed there, always unnoticed. Finally, after so many years, I realize that you have to make things happen for yourself (I guess I’m one of those slow learners, haha). No one is going to take you by your hand and lead the way. I think that by writing this out (so I can see it) it will make me want more of life.

Support, and comments are always welcome. I feel I have to prove to myself I’m not afraid to live, but any kind words you can offer would help so much.

I found some more pictures of Okinawa in my mother’s photobox (it’s more like a giant plastic container that slides out from under the bed). There was one of Mama-san, my babysitter back then, and I .. looking very much like a chubby little sumo wrestler. I took a close look at the picture and I could pick out little details, like the milk cartoon in the background that had Japanese writing on it, and the goofy look on my face (which I still have today).

Okay, I don’t take a walk everyday.. but it’s more than once a week! I plan on taking my little brother to the park or swimming pool to get us both out of the house.

I don’t even have my Learners Permit yet. A little pathetic, huh? When I was 15-16 I could care less about going anywhere, I just wanted to stay in my room and mope around. Now that things are really looking up what else can I do but walk, or ride the bus? My bike has been flat for over a year now (which reminds me, I should get that done).

I had one when I was around 10 years old, and I was so excited everytime I would eat one of my own carrots or bellpeppers. I’d love to have another garden, especially now that I’m old enough to do things by myself. Well, not totally.. I’ll have to read some books and get advice about gardening. =P

I was talking to my grandmother the other day about her life in South Africa, and she got to telling me about all our family there (and in England, and Australia). She makes a trip to Belgium each year to visit friends and family, and asked if I would want to go next time. I told her I hate going to the mall, but I’d visit another country anyday. :D

It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. We don’t have that much “junk food” in the house to begin with, but that doesn’t mean it’s not beyond my reach. So far I’ve done very well. I snack frequently on fruits, and some vegetables (carrots, celery, etc). When I do get a craving for something sweet I try to fulfill it rather than ignore it until it grows so big I end up stuffing my face!

I checked that I “wanted to help others” because it seemed nicer. You shouldn’t need my help though, it’s pretty easy once you get off your butt (or just find the time if you’re busy). I’m currently studying for the college entrance test coming soon. I forgot most of the math, but I should be quick to pick it up again.